Screw Date Nights

One of the things that I miss most from the time before I was a mom, and before I was married (which was so long ago that I had a pet dinosaur named Chompy) was having time by myself.

I confess that I am actually all by myself as I am typing this. However, I am constantly staring at the little clock at the top of my screen to make sure I pick my daughter up from school on time.

So, to be more specific, I miss having stress free, unscheduled time by myself. I miss being able to do what I want without the constant sound of a ticking clock reminding me that I have to drop my daughter off or pick her from school,a play date, a class ...

I miss eating crappy (but tasty), food in front of the television, right from the pot or container, without feeling guilty about not setting a good example. Granted, I can still do some of these things, but that requires me to wait until my daughter goes to bed – so I miss being a messy sloth at a reasonable hour.

And no, I do not actually hate date nights, but sometimes I just cherish the thought of not being with the kid AND NOT having to talk to someone more. I just do not want to think about or plan conversations (we have to or else we end up spending the entire evening talking about the kid). Besides, date nights usually involve planning, they require dinner reservations, or movie/show tickets, which means we must agree to a movie and a time; and even without these things, dates require booking a babysitter (sometimes this must be done months in advance...).

Alone time involves a bowl of food, of some sort, pyjamas and a television remote – no child care is needed because the other parent has the kid.

So now, every once in a while, for the sake of my sanity, I ask my husband to take the small child out for the day or evening. I like to tell myself that I am doing this because it is good for them to have some daddy and daughter time.

In reality, I use this time alone to recharge my batteries. Sometimes I even miss them a little bit. Now if missing them a little, along with a little break, allows me to be a better and more attentive parent, can you imagine what a wonderful parent I will be if I get a week off!

(To be honest, there is no way I will last a week without my family, but a night or two is worth a try...)

Filling notebooks - I really should write more

When I was little, I loved blank notebooks. Okay, I still love pretty notebooks and journals, especially the leather ones. This is the reason why I own a small collection of notebooks (it is now small, because I am more fiscally responsible, and I managed to actually, but reluctantly, give some of them to my little one – I hope I am not turning her into a notebook addict as well).

I love blank notebooks because they are aesthetically pleasing. Who doesn't love the smell or a feel of a soft leather covered journal?

But mainly, I love notebooks because of the potential and promise they contain.

I love to write. So I see each blank page as a new story, a new adventure, a new emotion, a new thought, a new idea, that is just waiting to be pulled out of the ether, to become something concrete.

Unfortunately, as much as I love to write, my crappy time management skills, combined with my advance procrastination skills, leaves me little time to actually put pen to paper, or in this case, fingers to keyboard. And, I am not the kind of person who likes to listen to the sound of my own voice, so usually I do not write unless I feel like it is something that should be shared. This leaves me very little to actually write about, and thus the blog is so rarely updated.

So now, I hope those of you who read my blog is willing to be patient with me. I am going to actually try to write more, sometimes it may be thought provoking (I hope), sometimes it may just be silly, sometimes I may just babble nonsensically (I hope not), and though it will mainly be about life with a kindergartener, maybe I will also just write about me.

I know I need the practice; I realize just because I like to write, does not mean I am any good at it. It is time to actually start filling and using those notebooks.

... and I am glad that I am not obsessed with something more expensive... like cars...

picture courtesy of: Paul Preacher