More things that I have learned from my daughter.

I am starting to think that I should call my daughter mom...

Before I became a mom, I had these little daydreams of taking my little one to the museum, or the gallery, or little shopping trips, but I did not have any dreams involving acting like a complete idiot just to see a smile on someone’s face (okay only one person), and then feeling really good about it.

Yep, my little one has taught me to be less self-conscious. Who cares if people are staring at us when we do our silly walks or silly dances down the sidewalk (as long as it does not cause a traffic jam), and we are not really hurting anyone if we decide to wear polka-dots and plaid out for lunch one day.

And, most importantly, there is no such thing as laughing too loud (granted there are inappropriate times to laugh, but that is another issue all together). Even if the laughter, right now, is over the word “bum” (yes, it is my child’s newest obsession... jokes about bums and what comes out of them... and yes, I am anticipating a call from her school next year).

So here is to being young, carefree, silly, and all the bum jokes you can take.

Discipline and Punishment

Okay, I know the theory and the reasoning behind discipline and punishment. One is about guidance and teaching, while the later, let’s face it… is about revenge.

Now the problem is about application.

It is very hard to think about discipline when I am a seething ball of rage, and all I can think about is throttling my little one’s throat, like the way Homer does to Bart. Now, I have and probably will NEVER lay a hand on my child, but that does not stop the angry mom in me from thinking about it.

The other problem is that sometimes the logical consequences for discipline is punishing me!

Take for example the other day… my child decided to take forever to eat her lunch, and I was trying to rush her a bit because she has camp (an activity that she thoroughly enjoys). The logical thing to do would be to stay calm and tell her that if she does not finish, there would be no camp. Then I thought about it. If I do not let her go to camp, it would mean I would be stuck with her for the rest of the afternoon… I know, I can take her lunch away, but I think that would actually be a reward for her. And, I am pretty sure my child can last for days (or long enough for someone to call child services on me) and not eat.

So, I walked her to camp. But, during the walk, I was so angry that I was afraid to hold her little hand fearing that I would squeeze it too tight.

Normally, I am not this angry over slow eating, but she has been like this for a couple of days, and she was not eating because she was not paying attention. I think I hit my breaking point when she started to give me attitude when I asked her (nicely) to eat faster. Honestly, when was it okay for a four year old to talk back to her parents?

So, I really do not know what to do. Most of the time, she is a very good girl. She is just stubborn (like both her mom and dad), especially once she is determined to do something.

So here is hoping that she will apply this stubbornness and determination to being a doctor or lawyer…

What I learned from my daughter…

As a mother, a major part of my job is to teach my daughter things. You know, things like looking both ways when crossing the street (even if it is a one way street), chew with your mouth close, boys are icky… the usual stuff. However, this time it was my little one who showed me something…

Sometimes, it is best to throw away the best-laid plan and just go rolling down a hill.

The other day we had a birthday party, and of course there were snacks, pizza, presents and CAKE! Cake is always very important. This party, we tried something different. We had organized games. This is when I truly appreciated how hard her teachers worked - trying to organize a bunch of three and four year olds to do something together that involved order was like trying to herd cats, a group of wild cats.

The kids did play the games, sort of. They had fun, especially when they made up their own rules. But for my little one, the highlight of her day (besides cake and presents) was the sheer joy of running up and down a hill near the birthday party site. Yep, that was it, no need for fancy decorations, weeks of careful planning, hours of praying for no rain, days spent shopping for all sort of party related stuff, all we needed was a hill and some grass and she was happy.

This party made me realize that I over complicate and over think things all the time. I should be happy with what is there, enjoy the simple pleasures in life, and to relax and take a tumble (albeit gentle one) down and hill and just have fun.