Discount Code for tickets to Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales

If your little ones are as obsessed with princesses as mine is, this may be a great little present for a post-holiday princess fix (especially since the threat of Santa not bringing presents is now gone) – tickets to Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales. Consider this as my way of helping with Boxing Day shopping.

Using the code: MAMA

• You can get 4 tickets for $44 for the Monday through Thursday performances

• For Friday through Sunday performances, you can save $4 per ticket

• However, like many other offers, there are some restrictions: EXCLUDES Front Row, VIP, TP and Gold Circle tickets and may not be combined with other discount offers.

• And, this code is valid between now and end of performance schedule

And yes, Santa did bring my little one a princess doll – Belle. Well, at least it was not pink.

Christmas time

Christmas is rapidly approaching, and I started thinking, which is actually not that often, as I am in a constant panic about not getting everything done on time. Anyway, I digress, I started to think about what Christmas actually means to my daughter.

I am guessing for her, Christmas means candy canes, decorated trees, lots of food, and of course Santa and presents. I am trying to encourage her to think of Christmas as a time to be good and kind to others (though this should be all the time), and an occasion to spend and enjoy time with people you care about and care about you. It is nevertheless hard to compete with presents.

We are not a religious family. I did not grow up in a very religious household, but when I was little, my parents did take my sister and I to church almost every Sunday – I vaguely recall making crafts and colouring stuff. When I was older, I enjoyed some of the pageantry and rituals associated with going to church, but I definitely did not like sitting through the sermons. Yet, even with my lack of attention during my 'religious' upbringing, I do remember the Christmas story.

My daughter has never stepped foot in a church, okay, that is not completely true, her school concerts take place in an auditorium inside a church, and I think we had to go to one to vote, but you know what I mean. (And, this blog is not really about how I am introducing, or in this case, not introducing religion to my daughter.)

Well, I figure the easiest way to find out what my little one is thinking about is to just ask her.

And here is what she told me: Christmas is time for family.

I think she knows exactly what Christmas is all about.

I fought the Princesses, and the Princesses won!

I am not willing to admit defeat yet in my fight to convince my child that there is more to life than being a princess, and that there is something else to wear other than dresses. I am, however, pretty sure that I have lost this battle – to keep princesses from invading every corner of my house, which is especially difficult this time of year.

Yes, I know her father and I control the purse strings, and it is essentially our fault when we buy her some doll that resembles a princess (okay, a lot of the incoming toys are because of grandparents). On the other hand, I want her to like her present; why buy things for someone when you know they won't like it (see previous post on presents).

So, instead of fighting the princesses, I am acquiescing to their presence, and I decided to use them as examples of how a little girl, who wants to be a princess, should behave. For example:

• Princesses listen to their elders – see Cinderella, and Snow White – Cinderella's stepmother orders her to clean the house, do all the laundry and cook all the meals, and Cinderella obeys, I am just asking my child to put her dirty socks in the hamper...

• Cleaning is good, and feel free to whistle while you work – see Snow White

• Reading is fun – see Belle

• Be good, nice and kind – see all the princesses

• It is good to have set goals, and to work hard for to reach those goals, just not so hard that you forget to have fun along the way – see Tiana

• Be adventurous and try new things, there is a big world to see out there – see Arial, Jasmine and Rapunzel

• Look beyond what someone looks like when deciding if you want to be their friend – see Belle

• Girls can do anything boys can, and sometimes even better – see Mulan

• Sometimes it is up to the girl to help rescue both herself and the boy – see Arial

• And a very important lesson: Sleep is good – see Snow White and Aurora

• Also, don't piss of big talking trees – see Pocahontas, or was that from Lord of the Rings...

And here is something that I would like her to not learn:

• Not listening to your parents – see Arial, who should have also listened to the crab, “Darling it's better Down where it's wetter” (Mulan also didn't listen to her father, but it probably did save his life, and Rapunzel did not listen to her 'mother' but the woman did kidnap the child, so these cases should not count)

• changing who you are for a boy – see Arial

• Sitting around waiting for your prince to come – see Aurora and Snow White (though in their cases, they were more asleep than sitting)

So, I hope she will try to keep these lessons in mind when I try to take her to see the Disney Live!presents Three Classic Fairy Tales. It sounds like a great show, with music, adventure, and magic; and of course “THE MOUSE”and his friends; and most importantly, Snow White, Cinderella and Belle.

Something that sounds perfect for my little princess.

For more information about the show - http://www.disneylive.ca/ThreeClassicFairyTales/

Show times:

Ottawa, Ontario, Scotiabank Place Dec. 18 - 19, 2011

Montreal, Quebec, Theatre St-Denis Dec. 22 - 28, 2011

Hamilton, Ontario, Hamilton Place Theatre Dec. 29 - 30, 2011

Kitchener, Ontario, Centre in the Square Jan. 6, 2011

Kingston, Ontario, K-Rock Centre Jan. 7, 2012

London, Ontario, John Labatt Centre Jan. 8 - 9, 2012

Oshawa, Ontario, General Motors Centre Jan. 12, 2012

Toronto, Ontario, Rogers Centre Jan. 13 - 15, 2012

Fine Print:

Feld Entertainment may be providing me with complimentary tickets to this show, in exchange for my time and efforts in attending the show, and reporting my opinion within this blog. However, the opinions about the show, and everything else are 100 per cent mine.

pictures courtesy of Feld Entertainment.© Disney.

Buying presents for a difficult person

AND, the difficult person is ME!

To help those who must deal with people like me, here are my following rules about presents.

In no particular order:

• The gift does not have to be expensive (though I would not complain if it was...). BUT it cannot be cheap either, as in made out of cheap things, or look tacky (keep in mind that 'cheap' things can still be expensive). Okay, I admit that there is a time and place for cheesy gag gifts.

• The gift should not be something practical (i.e. socks and underwear), but not be completely useless either – like giving me a carjack would be practical and also be completely useless as I rarely drive, and even if I do, I cannot loosen the bolts that hold the tire in place.

• The gift should be a want, not a need. Like I really want a Kitchenaid mixer, because I think it is very pretty, but as I do not bake, I really do not need one (this is not a hint, as it is also unpractical, I have no room for one, unless the mixer becomes the centrepiece for Christmas dinner). Sometimes a want and a need may be the same thing.

• The gift should be something fun.

• Avoid gift cards if possible. Well, if you are getting a gift for your third cousin three times removed that you have met maybe twice in your life, then go for the gift card, but if it is someone close, try to get an actual present.

• The gift should not be bought half-assed – if so, just buy a gift card.

• Most importantly, the gift should be THOUGHTFUL – think about what the other person likes and wants (not need). I view gifts as a way of letting the other person know that you are thinking of them, and that you took time out (going online for hours looking for a present counts) specifically to go shopping, to get something special. Hopefully, the thoughts are not too cheap.

I know the list probably does not help with actual shopping, so here are some examples of a couple of my favourite presents.

a) A picture book of a trip that we took. It was a very thoughtful present, and I know it took time and effort for my husband to make the book. It also serves as a reminder of a really fun time we had together.

b) A massage at a spa. Now, I know you can give gift certificates to treatments, but this was special, because my husband made ALL the arrangements for me, including making sure our child would be occupied. All I had to do was to show up.

picture courtesy of Zurizim

Different solutions to the same problem

Sometimes I am really, really proud of my daughter, other times not so much... but for the most part, I am proud. And sometimes, I am surprised at how much more mature she is about responding to certain situations than I am.

This is one of them...

My daughter was not looking as happy as she usually does when I picked her up from school one day. She told me a little kid in her class tried to hit her. After giving her a hug and establishing that hitting is wrong, the next thing I did was to see whether this was done intentionally (even accidental physical contact is a big no to my daughter).

Okay, I feel bad that the first thought in my head was to doubt her interpretation of the event. I realize little kids are sometimes clumsy, and to be honest, my little one is not always aware of her environment, and so may have merely gotten in the way of a moving child.

Anyway, the incident was not accidental, and the kid did not actually hit her; just tried. I was upset, and told her what the kid (though the word brat and other more colourful adjectives were running through my mind at that point) did was wrong, and if it happens again, just tell him NO, you do not like that, in a big voice, and then go tell a teacher.

A couple of days later, I noticed that the little kid was once again bothering her in the playground. I was about to step in to physically remove the child, when I heard a little big voice yelling NO! I do not like that! And there she was standing up tall, and most importantly standing up for herself, and the kid walked away.

Well all was good for a couple of weeks after that, until I picked her up from school one day and saw her sad little face again...

Apparently, not only did the same kid hit her again, this time he spat in her face. Okay, I admit that my child can be a little annoying and patronizing at times, but no matter what she did, NO ONE should be spat on in the face. I think the kid was lucky that I did not find him at that moment.

After calming down, and talking to her, which involved lots of hugs and kisses, I contacted her teacher to let her know what is going on, and then started to think of a solution to this big problem.

This was my solution: if this kid tries to do this again, you have my permission to deck the kid and maybe kick them in the shins or other places that hurt. Or better yet, I will deal with the kid myself. I know this is wrong, so I did not really say this to her, but I was thinking it.

This was her solution(s): avoid the kid. And, make friends with the kid.

Okay, her solution is better than mine, and she came up with it all by herself!

Epilogue

Things seem to be better between my child and the kid. Though there is still the occasional incident, she seems to be handling it okay, with the help of her other friends. But beware kid, if my daughter's solution does not work, we are going with my plan.

The inner tiger escapes

I think I just had my first tiger mom moment, at least the first that I am consciously aware of.

So there I was, sitting with my child, at her little homework table, making her copy a simple pattern that I drew on a piece of paper. And, at some point, I told her that she was not to leave this spot until she got the pattern right. I think we sat there anywhere from 30 min to an hour.

This was definitely one of my not-so-proud parenting moments. I forgot to mention this happened in the evening, and I knew she was tired (we were all tired), and still I could not help but to push.

I just did not know what else to do.

My daughter is a pretty smart little girl, and can pick up a lot of things pretty easily; when she wants to. My husband and I often joke that she can probably start doing calculus now if she puts her mind to it. It is the 'when she wants to' that is becoming the problem. If she is not in the mood to do something, and it is not coming easily to her, she will just give up. I do not want her to go through life and just give up on every obstacle. I explained to her that not everything is easy, and sometimes it takes many tries to get really good at something. But, there she was, at her desk, half-assing the picture and telling me that she could not do it. It was not like I was asking her to recreate the Sistine Chapel, it was two little parallel lines.

So I pushed and pushed and said no to little mistakes. I am proud that there was no yelling the entire time; just lots of 'no, please try again'. Okay, I am very ashamed of the threats though – the there would be no time for a bath if you take any longer to do this (the child does not like to be dirty) and the if you do not at least try, what is the point of you going to school, maybe you should just stay home and be a blob (she also really likes school).

It broke my heart when the tears started to come, but I decided that this time, I will show her that mom will not give up on her, and she will not give up either. She does not understands right now, but I think the worst thing I can do is to give up – even if all I want to do is to throw my hands up and go, you win, mommy gives up.

Yes, I think maybe we did go a little overboard over two little lines this time (I am also a big believer in picking your battles, maybe this time I picked the wrong one), but I just really wanted to make a point.

And yes, in the end, she drew the two little lines. It was not perfect, but it was close, which was all I was hoping for. The goal was for her to look, think, and most importantly try.

I really hope that I do not do this again (I doubt it though), and maybe I can find a better way to approach this next time (I would love to hear suggestions).

For now, the tiger is once again caged. But if it is needed, I still have the key.

photo courtesy of: MeiTeng

Barbie dolls and Tattoos

I honestly do not know what is the big deal about the new, 'controversial,' Barbie doll in the market right now?

The Tokidoki Barbie, with her pink hair, leopard pattern leggins, short skirt, silver stilettos, and TATTOOS, is causing quite a stir. Yep, this Barbie got herself inked.

I really have no problems with tattoos (most of the time, I have much bigger

issues with how Barbie is dressed, but that is another issue completely), especially since I have three myself. And, because I am inked, I feel that I would be a hypocrite to ban my daughter from someday, way off in the future, to get a tattoo of her own. Yep, I said it; I am not against my daughter getting a tattoo someday (and hopefully she will never read this entry).

HOWEVER, I am against stupid thoughtless tattoos.

I believe tattoos are highly personal, should tell a story, and have a deep meaning for the person. My last tattoo, for example, was to commemorate my daughter's birth (no, I did not get it right after she was born; I waited). I knew I wanted something that will always remind me of my little baby, so with the help of my sister's tattoo artist friend, we designed a tattoo together. Okay, she designed, I said yes or no...

I have absolutely no regrets about getting my tattoo(s), because none of them were spur of the moment things (my second one was designed by my sister), and I did not get them because I thought it was pretty, or thought it would be 'cool' to do. Each tattoo says something about my life.

So, I hope when the time comes, my daughter will also understand this. Tattoos are very permanent. There is nothing wrong with them, but you should think long and hard about what you want on your body, where you want it, and most importantly why.

And yes, I am also aware that there are a lot of studies out there that say people still view people with body art negatively – less intelligent and more sexually promiscuous. I try not to judge people based just on appearances, but I understand there is a time and place for displaying yourself. I probably would not want to send my child to a teacher who shows off a full tattoo sleeve, but I would be equally offended if she had a teacher who insist on wearing tight, low cut tops (my child teacher does neither). That is just inappropriate. So, I think perception is about more than tattoos and piercing, it is how you present yourself in a situation.

And as for the less intelligent thing, I think there are lots of smart people with tattoo. Carl Zimmer just finished a book called Science Ink: Tattoos of the Science Obsessed – it is a collection of science tattoos, and some of these are on people with PhD's about things that I cannot even pronounced. (I come from a science, and realize some of these people spend days in the field with no shower, so I guess physical appearances are not always top priority when it comes to the science community. I also worked in the arts, where it would be strange to not have a tattoo)

Now, I have one thing to say to the parents that buy a $50, collector addition Barbie doll for their kids to play with... Would you like to adopt me? I am pretty clean, and I am toilet trained.

A letter to the paparazzi

I think my daughter is cute (okay, I am sure most parents think their children are cute). Occasionally, complete strangers will come up to me and tell me what a cute, or beautiful little girl I have. I admit, my vanity enjoys these compliments, and hers does too, though it would be nice if they say I am cute as well (perhaps if I dressed nicer... but that is a completely different topic for another day).

Now, I know I should de-emphasize the importance of physical appearance; it is what is inside that counts, right? But this too is a topic for another time.

What I would like to write about today is: people, and by that I mean strangers, taking pictures of my kid...

Dear Random Photographers,

Please stop taking pictures of my child, UNLESS you ask first.

Since becoming a mother, I have become more aware of what is happening around my child (though not so much around me...), also I personally hate having my picture taken, so now I have a sixth sense when it comes to people pointing cameras in my, or my child's, direction. So yep, most of the time, I know what you are doing, and sorry if I ruined your shot by stepping between your camera and MY child.

And, no I do not think all photographers are child molesters. I just find it RUDE to take pictures of people without asking their permission first, even if it is in a public place. Would you like it if I do it to you? And, I understand sometimes we get caught in general crowd shots, which is fine, but when you crouch down to the height of my daughter, I am pretty sure you are taking a picture of her, unless you are looking for some interesting art shot of people's knees.

I also get it that you want capture the spontaneity of the moment, so it is not always practical to ask first (trust me, I know my daughter is not always the most cooperative when it comes to posing for the camera). However, you can always ask after, or send some sort of signal when we make eye contact, like point to the camera, point to her... something to let me know what you plan to do, and remember, I see you. Looking sneaky, will not help your cause, and frankly, make you look creepy.

And really, I have yet to say no to anyone that asked to take a picture of the kid. I cannot guarantee she will cooperate, but I will offer to help you try to get your shot.

So please, let us try to avoid me getting all mama bear on you, and just ask.

Thank you and I really do hope that you will get some wonderful pictures.

The kid's mom

picture courtesy of ilco http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1118246

Giving Thanks

We took a short break from turkey day/turkey weekend to think about what we are thankful for (and to digest).

I am thankful for so many things, but I can make it simple by saying I am thankful for my life.

Yes, there are times when I wished I was someone else, but for the most part I am very happy with where I was and where I am right now (thank you to everyone in my life). And though there are also times when I wonder what would have happened if I made different choices, I would not change a thing if it meant not having my family. As well, as much as I love my darling husband, I am most thankful for my little girl.

And here are the things that my precious little one is thankful for (in no particular order):

• she is thankful for her grandmothers, though after some questions, and prompting, she included the rest of her family, including her parents

• she is thankful for her shoes (which by the way, are usually bought by her grandmothers)

• she is thankful for the Earth, because that is the source of her presents (including shoes)

What are you thankful for?

From my family to yours, Happy Thanksgiving.

Quality vs Quantity

The other day my daughter asked me to play with her. I then told her not right now, mommy is tired, and besides mommy has been with you all day... and then I settled her down for a little craft project that she can do herself.

Later that night, it occurred to me that I have not sat down and just played with her in a while. I can't remember the last time we had a tea party, or went pretend shopping in the basement. It hit me that though I spend a lot of time with her, and I mean A LOT - we go to the park, to the beach, to the museum, to the farm, and sometimes we read, do crafts and play board games - we rarely just sit and play.

I think it is my need to always feel productive, or that the activity we choose should somehow lead to bettering oneself that blinds me to the idea of just playing for fun.

So here is a promise. The next time she wants to throw me a tea party; a tea party we shall have, unless I am to tired of course...

taking some time to stop and feed the chickens...

Me time

So after the last post about trying to get things done while my kid is at school... this week, I decided to say screw it. I am taking some time for myself and do stuff I want (mainly surf aimlessly on the Internet for hours). Next week, I might just rent me a chick flick and watch it in the middle of the day.

Now, I just have to get over the guilt of not vacuuming, dusting, doing the dishes and folding that pile of laundry in my room.

One day, I will learn to find a way and do a bit of both. But for now, I am going to sit here, with my coffee, enjoy the fall sunshine, type away on my computer...

... and then quickly run inside and finish putting away the clothes before I have to pick the kid up again.

Time

Today officially marks my daughter's first week back to school (she started on Thursday). So, this also marks my first week of having more 'free time'.

I would like to ask what free time? It feels like I am busier than ever.

At first, even I thought that I will have more time to do stuff for me, like write on this blog, but nope. I have been busy cleaning the house, getting the groceries done, prepping for lunch and dinner, and then repeat. Granted, I am now able to do these things faster as I no longer have to entertain a little one, but it still takes time.

It is amazing how fast two hours fly by. I should probably start thinking of getting ready to walk up the hill again to pick her up. And, yes, her school is at the top of a hill and it takes 15 min to walk up it. I found out I can do it in about 5 min if I run, but I NEVER want to do that again.

So, with all my 'free time', my parents have started hinting maybe I should look into a part time job, or just a job, or even go back to school, like I need another degree. But I do have a job, I started to freelance (write) again, which I love, but sometimes (okay all the time) I have trouble writing on a schedule – so the words do not always come during the two hours of alone time that I have.

Anyway, for my parents' sake, if someone out there would like to give me a 'regular' job that allows me to work in two hour blocks – i.e. 9 – 11 (okay, 10:30 because I have to go pick up the child) and then 1 – 3:30 twice a week, feel free to give me a shout.

September!

Wow! It is September already!

When I was younger, many eons ago... September to me was kind of like New Year's. It is full of new promises, and new beginnings, after all it is a new school year. Usually nothing new happens, aside from some new clothes, and new school supplies, but how I love those new school supplies...

This year, I am experiencing those familiar feelings again, but this time it is for and through someone else.

My little one will be starting school. She is very excited to finally go to 'big girl' school. I am excited for her to face new challenges, and learn new things. But at the same time, I am a little frightened. I am scared that she might have trouble making friends, have to deal with rejection, and I am especially terrified that she might get bullied, though god help the child that messes with mine...

I know these things are all part of growing up, but must it happen so soon?

Time

I don't believe it! Summer is almost over! Where has the time gone?

I had so many things planned in May that I wanted to do this summer... did I get through my to do list? Of course not. Do I ever get through my to do lists... rarely... but occasionally it happens, just like occasionally we get two full moons in a month.

But honestly, it feels like at times things happen so fast, and

sometimes it feels like time is not moving at all.

For example, this morning I woke up and once again it hits me that my little one will be starting kindergarten in a couple of weeks. Yes, kindergarten. When did my baby grow up? Wasn't I just changing diapers yesterday? When am I going to find time to do back to school shopping? What in the world are you suppose to buy for kindergarten anyways? And then I remember when I was waiting for the result of my pregnancy test, in my bathroom, and those two minutes felt like a lifetime.

Fast or slow... I guess everything averages out over time...

Picture courtesy of: chris gilbert http://www.sxc.hu/profile/iotdfi

Lost Keys and Found Hope....

With all that is happening in the world, it is depressing to think about the direction that humans are heading towards (I believe it involves being in a hand basket). What happened to brotherhood, being good to others and love?

Then, I remember some little thing, a small gesture, one kind act, and my faith in humanity is restored (okay, maybe not a complete faith fill up, but it does makes me remember that not everyone out there is evil).

Last year, I lost my house keys while walking my dog, on a beach. I didn't realize what happened until I got home and fumbled through my pockets (I had many pockets, so I was quite hopeful for a while) to find the key, to get into the house, and to out of the cold. After a couple of minutes of looking, it finally sank in that the key was gone.

I knew someone was going to be home in about 15 min, so I was not too worried about that, but I was worried that someone out there may have my house key. I was already starting to think about how much it would cost to change my lock. Logically, I knew the chances of someone breaking in was slim. I mean if I was a thief, I would realize that it would be faster to kick the door down or break a window than try to fit the key in every door in the neighbourhood (and how was the person suppose to know that the key belonged to someone that lived around here, it could have belonged to someone who lived in another country). But it still did not stop me from feeling uncomfortable.

When my husband finally came home, 15 min later, he found the front yard raked (I figured I might as well clean while I waited). Together, we retraced my steps in hope of finding my key. Needless to say, trying to find a key in the beach, at dusk, is like looking for a needle in a haystack, and we soon gave up.

I guess part of me was still not quite ready to give up, and the very next morning, we went back to the park.

And there! Like a ray of sunshine, were my keys hanging up on a bulletin board at the entrance of the park. I was so happy! And then I noticed the other stuff on the bulletin board; there were all sort of other stuff like more keys, sunglasses, children toys, dog toys, one shoe etc... It seems that the nice people who use this park has created their own lost and found system. And, that some nice person saw my key and took the time to pick it up and put it on the board.

So, I would like to take this time to: Thank You person in the park (and sorry that it took this long), for not only finding my key, but also for reminding me that there are kind and descent people in this world.

More things that I have learned from my daughter.

I am starting to think that I should call my daughter mom...

Before I became a mom, I had these little daydreams of taking my little one to the museum, or the gallery, or little shopping trips, but I did not have any dreams involving acting like a complete idiot just to see a smile on someone’s face (okay only one person), and then feeling really good about it.

Yep, my little one has taught me to be less self-conscious. Who cares if people are staring at us when we do our silly walks or silly dances down the sidewalk (as long as it does not cause a traffic jam), and we are not really hurting anyone if we decide to wear polka-dots and plaid out for lunch one day.

And, most importantly, there is no such thing as laughing too loud (granted there are inappropriate times to laugh, but that is another issue all together). Even if the laughter, right now, is over the word “bum” (yes, it is my child’s newest obsession... jokes about bums and what comes out of them... and yes, I am anticipating a call from her school next year).

So here is to being young, carefree, silly, and all the bum jokes you can take.

Discipline and Punishment

Okay, I know the theory and the reasoning behind discipline and punishment. One is about guidance and teaching, while the later, let’s face it… is about revenge.

Now the problem is about application.

It is very hard to think about discipline when I am a seething ball of rage, and all I can think about is throttling my little one’s throat, like the way Homer does to Bart. Now, I have and probably will NEVER lay a hand on my child, but that does not stop the angry mom in me from thinking about it.

The other problem is that sometimes the logical consequences for discipline is punishing me!

Take for example the other day… my child decided to take forever to eat her lunch, and I was trying to rush her a bit because she has camp (an activity that she thoroughly enjoys). The logical thing to do would be to stay calm and tell her that if she does not finish, there would be no camp. Then I thought about it. If I do not let her go to camp, it would mean I would be stuck with her for the rest of the afternoon… I know, I can take her lunch away, but I think that would actually be a reward for her. And, I am pretty sure my child can last for days (or long enough for someone to call child services on me) and not eat.

So, I walked her to camp. But, during the walk, I was so angry that I was afraid to hold her little hand fearing that I would squeeze it too tight.

Normally, I am not this angry over slow eating, but she has been like this for a couple of days, and she was not eating because she was not paying attention. I think I hit my breaking point when she started to give me attitude when I asked her (nicely) to eat faster. Honestly, when was it okay for a four year old to talk back to her parents?

So, I really do not know what to do. Most of the time, she is a very good girl. She is just stubborn (like both her mom and dad), especially once she is determined to do something.

So here is hoping that she will apply this stubbornness and determination to being a doctor or lawyer…

What I learned from my daughter…

As a mother, a major part of my job is to teach my daughter things. You know, things like looking both ways when crossing the street (even if it is a one way street), chew with your mouth close, boys are icky… the usual stuff. However, this time it was my little one who showed me something…

Sometimes, it is best to throw away the best-laid plan and just go rolling down a hill.

The other day we had a birthday party, and of course there were snacks, pizza, presents and CAKE! Cake is always very important. This party, we tried something different. We had organized games. This is when I truly appreciated how hard her teachers worked - trying to organize a bunch of three and four year olds to do something together that involved order was like trying to herd cats, a group of wild cats.

The kids did play the games, sort of. They had fun, especially when they made up their own rules. But for my little one, the highlight of her day (besides cake and presents) was the sheer joy of running up and down a hill near the birthday party site. Yep, that was it, no need for fancy decorations, weeks of careful planning, hours of praying for no rain, days spent shopping for all sort of party related stuff, all we needed was a hill and some grass and she was happy.

This party made me realize that I over complicate and over think things all the time. I should be happy with what is there, enjoy the simple pleasures in life, and to relax and take a tumble (albeit gentle one) down and hill and just have fun.

Summertime blues…

When I was a kid, I LOVED summer vacation – no school; sleeping in; hanging out with friends; hanging out in front of the TV; being a lazy blob… what is there not to love?

And then I became a parent…

I now view summer vacation with a slight sense of dread. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my kid, but I also love the couple of hours that I have to myself while she is in school.I need that time to run errands and to clean the house; okay, who am I kidding, I need those hours to watch useless crap on youtube.

Now, she is officially out of school. And, not only do I lose my Internet time; I feel I must find ways to entertain her. Unfortunately, this leads to my second problem… I am a bit of an obsessive planner and scheduler (I blame this on my father). I will plan when my daughter has time to breathe if I can. Also, I like things to run on MY time – if ‘fun’ time starts at 10:00, then it has to start at 10:00, not 9:59, and sure as hell not 10:01…

Now, my child usually will not follow a schedule (willingly), no matter how prettily colour coded I make it – the child does not feel the sense of urgency about anything; I am pretty sure the house can be on fire, and she will still insist on taking half an hour to put on her shoes herself. I, on the other hand, will start feeling anxious if I am slightly thrown off my carefully laid out plan. Not that either of these extremes is a good thing.

This brings us back to why I use to love summer… the potential to do nothing, and everything.So, this summer, I am going to try to take it easy with my little one and see what she wants to do and go from there. We do have a couple of weekend getaways in the early stages of planning, and she does have a couple of weeks of camps booked, but the rest of the summer is FREE!

So, here’s to sleeping in, playing at the park, digging in the sand, biking to nowhere, going on adventures, doing absolutely nothing, and especially the weeks when she is at camp so that I get my couple of hours back.

so not for small children

I love this book

And, I can definitely identify with the father in this story, as I sit here watching my child NOT sleep. I know I will never actually tell my child to go the fu*k to sleep, but I admit it, I thought about it. I thought about swearing at her when she is really bad too, but I would never do it (at least not until she is much older). Granted I have never been much of a swearer even before the child - though you should watch out for a child that says bloody hell a lot….

Anyway, back to the book…the only thing better than this book, is Samuel L Jackson reading it! (look it up in youtube, it is GREAT!)

And, I too am going to go the fu*k to sleep now. Goodnight.

To my little darling...

Dear Little One,

I cannot believe that you are another year older! You are becoming such a big girl now, sorry, young lady! I barely remember what life was like before you. I do vaguely recall more sleep and being able to stay out past 9:00. But now, I will not trade you for anything in the world!

So my darling, here are some birthday promises that I would like to make to you. I promise that we will not always agree - I have a feeling this will get worse as you get older - but I will always try to keep an open mind and to listen to you. I promise that I will not be there to catch every fall, but I will always be there to help pick you up. And, most importantly, I PROMISE to LOVE you forever and ever (even if you do drive me crazy).

And here is my birthday wish for you: I wish you to grow up to be happy in whatever it is that you decide to do (even if it is becoming a fairy princess and not a lawyer...).

I still do not believe how big you are getting. And though I miss my little girl (I definitely DO NOT miss changing diapers), I am very much looking forward to meeting the little person you are becoming.

Love,

Mom

My two cents..

It is hard to avoid, or ignore, that controversy about the couple who decided to keep their baby’s gender a secret.

So, as a mother, I feel that I too should be entitled to put my opinion out there (insert sarcastic tone here…). Anyway, here is what I think: is the baby happy and healthy? If so, then let the gender secrecy continue. Unlike some opinions out there, I think this is far from child abuse; there are worse ways to raise children than hiding their gender. Do I think this is a little strange… YES, but I am far from perfect, so there is no way I am about to throw the first stone.

I do think this though, instead of downplaying their baby’s gender, the parents had inadvertently put it in the spotlight (I do place some of the blame on the media). Gender becomes the big elephant in the room.

When my daughter and I meet people at the park, we introduce names and ages (the kids, not the grown ups), and then the kids play with each other (okay, my kid usually stares at the other one for a long time…), and we move on. I do not ever consciously think: oh, the kid is a boy, so we must play like this, or vice versa… Now, with Storm, I think it will be hard for me to try not to guess. So instead of getting to know the little person, I too will probably be more obsessed thinking about that baby’s gender.

I definitely believe in letting a child develop his or her own identity, and likes and dislikes (and I try very hard to let this happen). I have a little girl, and I do not limit her shopping to only ‘girl’ stuff (I happen to think that little ‘boy’ t-shirts are very cute). I try pretty hard to balance her toys so that she has many options. Right now, though, she is definitely gravitating towards anything with the word princess on it. As my wallet is not infinitely deep, and I am 90% sure she is not going to play with an expensive toy truck, I am going to hold off on buying her ‘boy’ toys just to counter the number of ‘girl’ toys, for now.

And yes, sometimes I too wish I never told my mother what my baby’s gender is just to limit the amount of princess stuff that enters our lives. So I do understand a bit where these parents are coming from. You can control your own behaviour, but there is no way you can control how others behave with your children, especially grandparents.

But in the end, I think the most important thing is that the kids are happy. And, given a choice, I think I prefer their method of parenting, than the parents who push their kids into beauty pageants and other events that goes to the other extreme.

A short note...

Dear Readers,

Hello!

I want to write you a short thank you note for coming to read my little ramblings.

I can hardly believe it; I am almost up to 100 readers! Yes, I realize that many other blogs get more than 100 visitors a day (probably in less than an hour), but this event still makes me feel a little bit special, especially since I did not expect anyone to read this thing.

So to everyone, THANK YOU again, and I hope that you enjoyed what you read. I promise I will try to write a bit more often and to keep things interesting. And, I would love to hear from you too!

Now I shall wait patiently for my first comment…

The changing me....

As I stood there, alone, at the corner, impatiently waiting for the light to change, it occurred to me that since becoming a mother, I have become a better-behaved person. Note that I did not say a better person… I still have evil thoughts about the jerk that cut me off, and the dink that did not pick up after his/her dog….

So there I am standing, tapping my foot, when suddenly I thought why in the world am I not crossing? There are no cars to be seen for miles, and other people are walking and giving me funny stares.

Now I am thinking, while I was crossing against the light, that my little one has me very well trained. In order to teach her traffic safety, I am now willing to walk half a block out of my way to cross at a light, and will stand there, like a statue, staring at the red hand, even if there are no cars around.

This led me to realize that since I had the kid, I have also started to drive at the speed limit (not that I was a reckless driver, I just drove fast, possibly because I was always late). And, not only do I wear a helmet, I now obey all traffic laws when I am on my bike.

Then, there is also the constant hand washing and stress on cleanliness. Of course I washed my hands before I ate or prepared food etc… but now I wash my hands if I even think they might be dirty.

I have made other changes as well. I try to be more outgoing and friendlier to show my little one that she too can make new friends. I am trying to be more patient. I have learned that children work on their own schedules, which is to say things get done when it gets done… I am learning to control my temper, at least outwardly even if I am seething ball of rage underneath.

I am sure that having a child has changed me in many more ways than what I have listed above, but I just cannot think of one at this time. How has it changed you?

Oh! Yes, I remember another one, I can function on less sleep (though not as well as my college days…), but my memory is shot.

I am still a work in progress…and I hope these changes will not only help me be a better-behaved person, but a better person as well, and most importantly, a better mom.

I have become a walking Disney ad....

My sort of first review…

Recently, I have discovered that I have become a walking advertisement for Disney. I never thought this was going to happen, but there I was, spewing the wonders that is a Disney Cruise.

Maybe I am still experiencing some sort of post-vacation bliss (unlike my last vacation). However, you would think this blissfulness would have ended after doing three loads of laundry, discovering that I have to cleanup after myself (and the family); purchasing and preparing my own food; and finding out that there is no room service button on my phone…

I guess this is why I really enjoyed this cruise; I actually felt like I had a vacation!

Sure the ship was gorgeous, the weather was great, the shows were spectacular, and the food was yummy (a little too yummy, as I found out that I did not need to use a belt by the end of the week…). But most importantly, unlike our last vacation, we were able to have time away from our child. It was nice to spend some time alone with my husband, even if it was just sitting on deck to read a book together.

This vacation, after learning my lesson from our previous one, I wanted a set of grandparents to come with us. But it turned out I did not need free babysitting after all (I am still glad they came). The price of the cruise included a children program (for those three and older, and toilet trained). And my child LOVED the program. Given the option between hanging out with her folks or going to the ‘club’, she picked the ‘club’ every time. I am not sure if I should be happy or offended about this…

I really have to hand it to Disney for the effort they put in to make children happy, which in turn makes parents happy. Their children program was great, my little one got to spend time with kids her age, make crafts, watch movies, dance with Snow White, read to by Belle, and play with all sort of other characters! For parents, the program is very flexible; we can drop her off for five minutes or for the entire day, as the club is open until midnight on most nights (but we never did). AND you can leave the ship! So the night that we docked until 1am at Key West, the grown ups left the ship and went out for a drink!

As much as I love her, and want to spend time with my child, I need a little bit of time away from her to recharge my own batteries. So this vacation allowed us to spend time together as a family, and be able to do our own thing. I think this is the recipe for a great vacation, at least for this family.

And yes, the Disney cruise was loud, but what do you expect with a boat full of small and excitable children, and the lineups to see the characters were long, though I heard it is still much better than the line up at the parks, and it is a bit pricier than some other cruises, but this cruise pass the ultimate test:

When asked if she would like to go another Disney Cruise, my daughter said “OF COURSE” with a big giant smile.

Now if only I can win the lottery to pay for the next one…

Mother's Day and Me

I had a lovely, quiet mother’s day this year. We woke up late, had brunch, and later went out to dinner. And, most importantly, my darling husband kept my daughter away from me, most of the day (which allowed me to do three loads of laundry… we just came home for a trip…).

I realized a couple of years ago that mother’s day, at least for me, meant a day to get away from my child, whereas father’s day is all about family time (okay sleeping in and family). I noticed this trend with some of my friends too; they spend mother’s day going to the spa, taking some time to go shopping, going out with other friends, but mostly doing activities WITHOUT children. Just go to any playground on mother’s day and you will see a very large collection of dad’s hanging out with kids.

Do not get me wrong, I LOVE my child, but on mother’s day (and maybe my birthday), there is nothing I enjoy more than some peace and quiet to MYSELF. I figure the other 363 days a year is spent being a mother that these two days should be just about me, a sort of mini vacation to charge up my batteries before Monday comes again.

So I propose that Mother’s Day should be renamed as ME day… what do you think?

And, yes, I did not mind doing three loads of laundry on mother’s day… it is do three loads now or six loads next weekend, while living with dirty underwear…

My little princess

I never imagined that I would be raising a princess; and not just any princess, a little fairy princess…

So, here I am trying to convince my little one to wear something other than a dress every morning. And then it occurred to me, who cares? She will only be this little once. So what if she wants to wear a princess dress to the park, or a tutu, or a gorilla suit (as long as it is weather appropriate… i.e. no summer dresses without six layers underneath when there is snow on the ground… and yes. I know it is April, but it snowed here last week…)

Well, this is the theory I Try to live by… most mornings I am pretty good about not fighting her fashion choices, though I still try to get her to wear something else, mainly because she has LOTS of other clothes. I keep telling myself it is just clothes, and who knows, maybe next week she wants to be a pirate… ‘

The main thing that bothers me about her princess obsession is the importance that she places on her clothes and looking pretty. It is partly my fault: I admit that I think she is adorable, and I often let her know it; and other people has told her that she is cute as well (granted, who really walks up to a kid and goes yuck, you are ugly…). So now, I am worry that I am raising a very vain child who puts a premium on physical appearance.

On the other hand, this may just be a phase… I use to like pink and pretty dresses, and now I live in jeans and t-shirts (I probably go a little too far the other way and not put enough care into my appearance…). I wish I know how to get through to her that her actions are much more important than her outfits and hair accessories. But then, she is three, and is generally well behaved, polite and sometimes even thoughtful.

Maybe I AM the one that is making too big a deal out of this whole princess thing… after all she did tell me once that she is going to be a “princess who rescues other princesses” What else can I ask for…

To Clean or Not to Clean…. I choose only clean when you have to….

Ahhh… today is one of those rainy, lazy, stay at home days. You know, those days that you want to wrap yourself up in a blanket, with a hot drink in hand, and a comfy spot in front of the television all day.

On the other hand, today is also one those rainy days that I should probably get started on the ever growing list of things I have to do around the house… like actually being able to see my dining room table underneath the mountain of newspapers, fliers, and possibly those polite letters asking for money….

I have read those tips on how to keep your home tidy in ten minutes a day, and how to keep you house and life organized. Yeah right, I think I was able to follow those suggestions for about ten minutes before something else distracts me (including writing this blog at this very moment).

The only thing that ever works for me, when it comes tidying the house, is to invite people over; and I mean people, as in, not family (my family is so accustomed to my level of messiness that if they do not see dirty socks in the hallway, they already think the house has been cleaned).

So I admit it, the main reason why I entertain is to get my ass in gear to clean and tidy the house. So welcome spring, welcome BBQ season, and welcome to a cleaner house.

Note:

We do not live in a complete pigsty. I do the laundry regularly; we all have clean underwear (most of the time). And, we eat from clean dishes, granted the dishes are pulled right from the drying rack and never off the shelves… and occasionally, you will hear the sound of a vacuum cleaner coming from my house.

I admit it; I am a Facebook game addict...

I use to spend hours playing Facebook games. I farmed, built restaurants, created frontiers… I usually only did these things while my child was asleep, and usually only after I finished doing what I have to do (like paying the bills), which also meant that at 1am, I am farming, building restaurants and chopping trees….

I do not even remember how or why I got addicted to these games. I have a feeling it is because of the simplicity of these games; I sit there, click a couple of buttons, and things happen, sometimes I even get rewarded with points and stuff. These games are my slot machines.

I really enjoyed the simple mindlessness when I play. After a long day of entertaining a pre-schooler (even if it was a good day) my brain is just too tired to think, so much so that even reality TV takes too much effort for me to follow the ‘plot’. And, there is an additional bonus to these games: in these games, I get to CONTROL what happens. I have come to realize that my little one is definitely her own little person now, with very STRONG opinions of her own (not that I mind most of the time, but once in a while, it is just nice to ask her to wash her hands and not have to deal with the ‘why’s’).

Well it is now time for me to say goodbye and goodnight to the games, and to find some other thing to do, like reading (reading something with more than two sentences per page), writing more, or maybe finishing some of those knitting projects that I have started. Yes, I know I am replacing one addiction with another, but hopefully this is a healthier addiction.

Besides, my computer slows to a grinding halt each time I try to load one of those Facebook games… OR maybe I just need a new computer to play…

I deserve the mother of the year award…. Bad mother that is…

My little one has a real talent for pushing buttons, elevator buttons, buttons on keyboards, buttons on toys… and especially my buttons.

The other day I experienced one of those moments that I wish I could take back (okay, I have many of those moments, and not all of them involve my child). I can see myself saying mean and hateful words, but it was way too late to stop myself. I do not even remember what exactly set me off; it was probably one of those things that she has done a million times, but perhaps this time, combined with the lack of sleep and maybe something to do with the cycle of the moon and planets… it was the straw that broke this mommy’s back.

I tend to have a pretty good internal censoring mechanism that prevents me from saying half the things that I want to say to her when I am angry (the ones that are purposefully meant to elicit tears...), but that switch in my brain was off. And as soon as I said those words and saw the hurt and fear in her eyes, it was too late, and now I feel even worse.

Usually, I am pretty good about being upfront with her. I actually tell the little one that ‘mommy cannot talk to you right now because she is very very VERY angry and do not want to say something mean and hurtful to you.’ And then I sit there and ignore her. This is also why I believe in time-outs… mostly to calm me down….

However, every once in a while (okay probably more times than I want to admit) I slip. It is hard not to push back and hurt when someone hurts you (figuratively, not literally). And then I realize that I am doing this to a small child. So what can I do but to apologize about MY behaviour... while trying to convince her that her behaviour was wrong as well…

So, I understand this punishment vs. discipline thing in theory… if only someone can tell me how to do this while the only thought going through my head is that this spanking thing does not sound half bad….

Why do I exercise?

Okay, I started to exercise the other day (confession… I exercise just about as regularly as I blog…), but it did get me to think about what type of message I am sending to my little girl. Let’s put it frankly, I am not exercising to feel healthier, or to get more energy, though those are excellent side benefits. I am working out because I am going to go on vacation and I want to look good in a swimsuit.

While I try very hard to teach my child that looks are not everything (she is currently a bit addicted to people calling her pretty…), and that we should try to exercise and to eat well for the sake of being healthy, and not to live up to some ideal body image; I turn around and sneak peaks at pretty glossy fashion magazines and wonder how the models get their tummies so flat… or if that fad diet really works….

So yes, I confess, I am a bit of a hypocrite…

But I really do want to teach her to feel good about her body, especially since she wants to be a ballerina when she grows up, granted, she also wants to be a princess fairy, so maybe I do not have that much to worry about when it comes to a career choice where body image/type is a pretty big issue.

So, I guess I will try to live by example and exercise and eat less junk food to feel healthier and to have more energy… looking better in my swimsuit will just be a nice side benefit….

The other relationship in my life...

Yes, today is Valentine’s Day, but instead of writing about how much I love my little one (whom I love more than anything in the world; and I tell her that almost everyday, not just once a year), I decided to write about my other relationship…. The one with SLEEP.

Dear Sleep,

I have noticed that in the last few years, we have started to spend more time apart. I try not neglect you, but life has gotten in the way. I am so sorry. I feel bad for letting you sneak down my priority list, somewhere below laundry, dishes, and cleaning, but please know, that in my heart you are still on top.

We really should work on our relationship. I remember when we use to have little quickies in the afternoon, but now prepping for dinner has gotten in our way. There really does not seem to be enough hours in the day for us anymore.

I know it is mainly my fault. I can spend a bit less time in front of the computer and more time with you, but sometimes, staying up late, is the only time I have for myself, and I do treasure that time.

I remember reading this article a couple of years ago and thought these women were crazy for neglecting you… and now that I think back, I was probably reading the article at midnight. Apparently, I was already putting you aside.

So this year, I will try to spend more time with you and less time on Facebook, or Twitter… or maybe I will just clean less….

Let us see if we can fix this, I no longer want to feel like two ships passing in the night; I want quality time together. I know we will both feel better.

I miss you.

Love Always,