My little princess

I never imagined that I would be raising a princess; and not just any princess, a little fairy princess…

So, here I am trying to convince my little one to wear something other than a dress every morning. And then it occurred to me, who cares? She will only be this little once. So what if she wants to wear a princess dress to the park, or a tutu, or a gorilla suit (as long as it is weather appropriate… i.e. no summer dresses without six layers underneath when there is snow on the ground… and yes. I know it is April, but it snowed here last week…)

Well, this is the theory I Try to live by… most mornings I am pretty good about not fighting her fashion choices, though I still try to get her to wear something else, mainly because she has LOTS of other clothes. I keep telling myself it is just clothes, and who knows, maybe next week she wants to be a pirate… ‘

The main thing that bothers me about her princess obsession is the importance that she places on her clothes and looking pretty. It is partly my fault: I admit that I think she is adorable, and I often let her know it; and other people has told her that she is cute as well (granted, who really walks up to a kid and goes yuck, you are ugly…). So now, I am worry that I am raising a very vain child who puts a premium on physical appearance.

On the other hand, this may just be a phase… I use to like pink and pretty dresses, and now I live in jeans and t-shirts (I probably go a little too far the other way and not put enough care into my appearance…). I wish I know how to get through to her that her actions are much more important than her outfits and hair accessories. But then, she is three, and is generally well behaved, polite and sometimes even thoughtful.

Maybe I AM the one that is making too big a deal out of this whole princess thing… after all she did tell me once that she is going to be a “princess who rescues other princesses” What else can I ask for…

To Clean or Not to Clean…. I choose only clean when you have to….

Ahhh… today is one of those rainy, lazy, stay at home days. You know, those days that you want to wrap yourself up in a blanket, with a hot drink in hand, and a comfy spot in front of the television all day.

On the other hand, today is also one those rainy days that I should probably get started on the ever growing list of things I have to do around the house… like actually being able to see my dining room table underneath the mountain of newspapers, fliers, and possibly those polite letters asking for money….

I have read those tips on how to keep your home tidy in ten minutes a day, and how to keep you house and life organized. Yeah right, I think I was able to follow those suggestions for about ten minutes before something else distracts me (including writing this blog at this very moment).

The only thing that ever works for me, when it comes tidying the house, is to invite people over; and I mean people, as in, not family (my family is so accustomed to my level of messiness that if they do not see dirty socks in the hallway, they already think the house has been cleaned).

So I admit it, the main reason why I entertain is to get my ass in gear to clean and tidy the house. So welcome spring, welcome BBQ season, and welcome to a cleaner house.

Note:

We do not live in a complete pigsty. I do the laundry regularly; we all have clean underwear (most of the time). And, we eat from clean dishes, granted the dishes are pulled right from the drying rack and never off the shelves… and occasionally, you will hear the sound of a vacuum cleaner coming from my house.

I admit it; I am a Facebook game addict...

I use to spend hours playing Facebook games. I farmed, built restaurants, created frontiers… I usually only did these things while my child was asleep, and usually only after I finished doing what I have to do (like paying the bills), which also meant that at 1am, I am farming, building restaurants and chopping trees….

I do not even remember how or why I got addicted to these games. I have a feeling it is because of the simplicity of these games; I sit there, click a couple of buttons, and things happen, sometimes I even get rewarded with points and stuff. These games are my slot machines.

I really enjoyed the simple mindlessness when I play. After a long day of entertaining a pre-schooler (even if it was a good day) my brain is just too tired to think, so much so that even reality TV takes too much effort for me to follow the ‘plot’. And, there is an additional bonus to these games: in these games, I get to CONTROL what happens. I have come to realize that my little one is definitely her own little person now, with very STRONG opinions of her own (not that I mind most of the time, but once in a while, it is just nice to ask her to wash her hands and not have to deal with the ‘why’s’).

Well it is now time for me to say goodbye and goodnight to the games, and to find some other thing to do, like reading (reading something with more than two sentences per page), writing more, or maybe finishing some of those knitting projects that I have started. Yes, I know I am replacing one addiction with another, but hopefully this is a healthier addiction.

Besides, my computer slows to a grinding halt each time I try to load one of those Facebook games… OR maybe I just need a new computer to play…

I deserve the mother of the year award…. Bad mother that is…

My little one has a real talent for pushing buttons, elevator buttons, buttons on keyboards, buttons on toys… and especially my buttons.

The other day I experienced one of those moments that I wish I could take back (okay, I have many of those moments, and not all of them involve my child). I can see myself saying mean and hateful words, but it was way too late to stop myself. I do not even remember what exactly set me off; it was probably one of those things that she has done a million times, but perhaps this time, combined with the lack of sleep and maybe something to do with the cycle of the moon and planets… it was the straw that broke this mommy’s back.

I tend to have a pretty good internal censoring mechanism that prevents me from saying half the things that I want to say to her when I am angry (the ones that are purposefully meant to elicit tears...), but that switch in my brain was off. And as soon as I said those words and saw the hurt and fear in her eyes, it was too late, and now I feel even worse.

Usually, I am pretty good about being upfront with her. I actually tell the little one that ‘mommy cannot talk to you right now because she is very very VERY angry and do not want to say something mean and hurtful to you.’ And then I sit there and ignore her. This is also why I believe in time-outs… mostly to calm me down….

However, every once in a while (okay probably more times than I want to admit) I slip. It is hard not to push back and hurt when someone hurts you (figuratively, not literally). And then I realize that I am doing this to a small child. So what can I do but to apologize about MY behaviour... while trying to convince her that her behaviour was wrong as well…

So, I understand this punishment vs. discipline thing in theory… if only someone can tell me how to do this while the only thought going through my head is that this spanking thing does not sound half bad….