video games, giving in to evil?

I finally gave in. I bought my kid a video game, not a video game I wanted and that she might be interested in. A video game just for her.

I know there are countless studies out there that says video games are bad for kids – increases violent tendencies and aggression, decreases interest in school, increases antisocial tendencies, possible increase risk for depression, increases risk for obesity; and creates urges to jump on

things that look like mushrooms... (okay, maybe not that last one).

But here is the thing - and keep in mind, I love my daughter more than anything in the world - the child has NO hand-eye coordination. And yes, I know there are better ways to improve hand-eye coordination, like taking her outside (which we do lots of already, the child is a great climber) and playing more 'sports' with her, or just throwing things at her, but apparently getting hit in the face (it was one of those soft Nerf balls), has neither taught her to catch better or to get out of the way.

So, I figure maybe playing a video game may help her learn to react a little bit better; without the risk of physical injury. Okay, she can still fall off the couch, but at least it is not mom throwing a ball at her face again (and no I was not aiming at her face, if I was aiming at her face, it would had probably hit her feet... this may explain the whole lack of hand-eye coordination thing).

The other reason for the video game is, sigh, I am pretty sure we have now said goodbye to nap time. She may not need her afternoon nap, but I need it. I need a little break, if anything, just to prep dinner and maybe have some coffee or tea before afternoon 'activities' start again. I figure a bit of video game time may be slightly better than just watching television. At least video games requires some thinking. My feeling is maybe a couple times a week, half-an-hour of television or video game time and then an hour of 'quiet', meaning leave mommy alone time, should be okay (I hope).

And, it is not like I bought her Grand Theft Auto. She got a Dora the Explorer game.

The last reason why I am getting her a video game, and I am the one bowing to peer pressure on this one, a lot of her little friends are playing video games (luckily her close friends are not). I would feel bad that when the time (I am pretty sure this is not an 'if' situation) comes for her to visit a friend's house and they end up playing a video game together, I really don't want her to get her ass whipped.

photo courtesy of stocker

A Letter to a Loved One

Last year for Valentine's Day I wrote a letter to something that I had been missing. So, this year, I decided to do the same thing.

And, of course I love my family, and I try to both tell and show them that everyday; not just on one day. But, this poor thing, I have been neglecting, so I think it deserves a letter.

Dear Peace and Quiet,

I am so sorry that we have not been spending much quality time together. And, I do realize that when we do meet, passing out from sheer exhaustion does not count.

I also find it disturbing that our time together usually starts with some yelling, “For (blank) sakes, why can't mommy just have 5 minutes of Peace and Quiet,” or begging, “For (blank) sakes, can mommy please just have 5 minutes of Peace and Quiet.”

I would really like to try to avoid that unpleasantness this year, as I find our time together after such stress so much less satisfying.

I know we are getting better this year, with school and all, but things still seem to get in the way. Yes, I know I should be the blame for this. I really should just turn off the TV, or vacuum, or computer, or whatever it is I think is really important and must be done at that moment, like folding the laundry, and just enjoy some time alone with you.

Perhaps, we should try and set some time for the two of us to reconnect, maybe over a nice cup of tea, and maybe even a book! Yes, something with more than two sentences per page.

I sincerely hope that we can find our way back together again, and renew our time together.

Miss you lots, and Love Always

Me

Favourite Times

I saw a question couple of days ago asking: if you can freeze time, at what age or stage would you freeze your child?

And, it got me thinking about and looking at my daughter. I was shocked at how much she has grown, both literally (I swore those pants fit her better last week) and figuratively.

My little one is four now, and I am fascinated by this age and stage. One minute she appears to be so mature, so wise; and then the next minute, I swear she suddenly turned 14, and has become some eye rolling teenager; and just a quick moment after that, she is my little baby again. It is quite an adventure to be experiencing all these stages simultaneously, and seeing such big emotions and reactions coming from such a little body.

But then thinking back, there were highs and lows in all the ages and stages that we have gone through together so far.

I remember I loved being pregnant. It was the only time when I did not have to share my little girl, for nine months, she was all mine. On the other hand, I really did not enjoy almost throwing up every time I brushed my teeth – do you know how much it sucks to brush your teeth, feel nausea, throw up, and then have to brush your teeth again, followed by more nausea, it was some cruel never ending cycle... I was also not particularly thrilled about not seeing my feet, and the stretch marks suck too.

After she was born, I watched her grow and be more aware of her environment. With every day, every week, and every month that passed, she became more and more fun and more interactive with her father and me. And by the time she was one, she started to walk, and can even say a few words! I never thought I could love someone so much. I also never thought my back could hurt so much. And, how in the world was she able to tell when I was not paying attention, and wait until that exact moment to do something dangerous? Also, I missed being able to put her down and finding her again in the exact spot where I placed her.

And then in a blink of an eye, she was two. A very talkative little two year old at that. She loved telling me about her imaginary dogs, and friends, and pointing to things and asking lots of questions. It was amazing to see the world through her little inquisitive eyes; she was just fascinated by everything! On the other hand, one can only answer the question: WHY? so many times each day. Also, at about this age, my daughter discovered her favourite word is NO!

Wow, and before I know it, she was three. She started going to pre-school, so I got a couple of mornings off, YEAH! I think this was when we both learned to be more independent. And, my little girl was definitely independent, or maybe just stubborn. At this point, she started to help a bit more around the house, like setting her own spot at the table, sorting through her laundry, and putting her toys away (okay, throwing it in a basket, which was good enough for me). She was also toilet trained!!! So no more diapers!!! But independence had its draw backs too, by insisting on doing EVERYTHING “self”, it sometimes took us three times as long to do anything. For the most part, I did not mind, but it was a little bit annoying if you were trying to leave the house on time. Also at three, my little one was starting to talk a lot more. The problem with a very vocal child, was that sometimes their vocal skills were aimed at me, sigh... yep, my little angel was starting to argue and talk back at us. I am so not looking forward to the teenage years.

And now, we have come full circle, right back to now.

So, I guess, in this long rambling post, to answer the original question: I do not think I want to freeze time, as my favourite stage is NOW! Yes, there are things that suck, but for the most part, I love her to bits, and raising her is an exciting, and wonderful adventure (for the both of us I hope).

Do you have a favourite stage/age for your child?