Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Fragility...


Every once in awhile, something so devastating happens that I am jolted into remembering how very fragile life is.

It happened yesterday in Boston, and it happened in December in Newtown.

I did not have a very good day yesterday. My daughter and I had a disagreement, basically, I completely lost my temper and yelled at her, a lot.

Little did I know, two hours later, hundreds of people, who were probably enjoying a wonderful day in Boston, had their lives suddenly changed forever when the first explosion happened.
My 'bad day' and my little argument with my daughter suddenly seemed so silly and inconsequential. All I wanted to do was to hold on to her as tight as I could.

My heart goes out to the people in Boston, and to all of us who lose a little piece of our innocence whenever a horrendous event like this happens.

It is unfortunate that often it is tragedies that reminds us to cherish lives. To spend quality time together. To remember that we love each other.


Thursday, April 4, 2013

Screw Date Nights


One of the things that I miss most from the time before I was a mom, and before I was married (which was so long ago that I had a pet dinosaur named Chompy) was having time by myself.

I confess that I am actually all by myself as I am typing this. However, I am constantly staring at the little clock at the top of my screen to make sure I pick my daughter up from school on time.

So, to be more specific, I miss having stress free, unscheduled time by myself. I miss being able to do what I want without the constant sound of a ticking clock reminding me that I have to drop my daughter off or pick her from school,a play date, a class ...

I miss eating crappy (but tasty), food in front of the television, right from the pot or container, without feeling guilty about not setting a good example. Granted, I can still do some of these things, but that requires me to wait until my daughter goes to bed – so I miss being a messy sloth at a reasonable hour.

And no, I do not actually hate date nights, but sometimes I just cherish the thought of not being with the kid AND NOT having to talk to someone more. I just do not want to think about or plan conversations (we have to or else we end up spending the entire evening talking about the kid). Besides, date nights usually involve planning, they require dinner reservations, or movie/show tickets, which means we must agree to a movie and a time; and even without these things, dates require booking a babysitter (sometimes this must be done months in advance...).

Alone time involves a bowl of food, of some sort, pyjamas and a television remote – no child care is needed because the other parent has the kid.

So now, every once in a while, for the sake of my sanity, I ask my husband to take the small child out for the day or evening. I like to tell myself that I am doing this because it is good for them to have some daddy and daughter time.

In reality, I use this time alone to recharge my batteries. Sometimes I even miss them a little bit. Now if missing them a little, along with a little break, allows me to be a better and more attentive parent, can you imagine what a wonderful parent I will be if I get a week off!

(To be honest, there is no way I will last a week without my family, but a night or two is worth a try...)