A moment of inspiration

So I felt inspired the other day, inspired to be creative, which is rare… okay, maybe not that rare, but the fact that I actually did something about it is unusual.

I have to admit that I am not very artistic. Art courses that were suppose to help pull my grades up in school, actually pulled them down, so I basically decided to focus on non-artistic pursuits instead. I didn’t really mind, but I have always wished I was more artistic and crafty. My grandmother was one of those people who can look at something and then reproduce it, and add her own signature to it; my sister can do this too. I on the other hand, just admire people who can do this.

Anyway, the other day, I was visiting one of my favourite sites - http://www.ohdeedoh.com - and noticed that people were making lots of cute play kitchens for their little ones. And then I thought, hey I can make something too. It will not be as elaborate as most of these, but I think I might be able to come up with something.

So I made this:
I had an old packing box lying around – it used to be a tunnel for my little one – I cut two openings in it – one for the ‘oven’ and another for a ‘cupboard’; coloured in the range with a sharpie; cut a hole to put a ‘sink’ in (an old take out container); and finally used old wine corks for door knobs and oven knobs.

The knobs even move. We used screws and washers to put the knobs on so that they can spin (my husband helped me with this part as I had no clue where our screws and washers were).



My little one seems to like to play with it, and now she cooks with me while I make our lunch and dinner.

I think this little project, though it was very simple, made me feel a bit proud of myself. That I am not completely artistically inept… and I can now proudly say… Look! I made this!

The weather is changing

The weather is getting colder now… I guess this means less walks to the park and going outside to play. Now I have to think of more indoor activities to do, at least until the snow comes. So I guess it also means more time to think…

Lately I have been thinking about my complete lack of wanting to go back to work. Before my darling one came, I thought I would be back at work by now, but I remember as her one year birthday approached, the more I dread the thought of looking for a job and going back. I am extremely happy just being at home and watching her discover something new each day. I am very lucky in that I have a choice to not go back to work. Actually, I think for us, it would actually cost us money if I went back to work, as I do not think I can find a job that will justify the daycare costs. And then there is the cost of time. I do not think I want to be away from her all day and miss out on the funny little things. On the other hand, there are days when I feel very tired, and she is being extremely bad that I think to myself… mommy is going to get a full time job right now… and then she will smile and give me a kiss, and I am once again so glad that I am at home.

Is it really so bad to not want to work? Sometimes I feel like I am being lazy. Other women are able to balance being a working mother and raise perfectly happy and well-adjusted children, my mom did it. Am I wasting the many many (and many) years that I have spent in school? Sometimes I feel like I am being selfish. I just want to spend as much time as possible with her, because I know one day soon she will not really need me anymore. I guess there will never a right answer to this going back to work or staying at home question… And I will just take it one day at a time.

And already, I seem to be neglecting my blog. I have no excuse, but simply I am too tired to write and think in complete sentences, or heck, I don’t think I can even hold a complete thought.

About ten years ago, someone did a study that says motherhood improves learning and memory. Obviously, they did not study me. According to the study’s abstract (I am sorry, but I do not have time to read the entire study yet, if ever), the researchers say that motherhood causes female mammals to adapt. She has to sharpen her skills, and put on her thinking cap to remember and find where all the good water sources; food places; and nesting sites are so that she can access them quickly to help raise their little ones.

The study, done on rat mommies, found that there was hormonal-induced changes in the brain that may help the new moms learn and master new skills needed to raise their brood. The changes take place in the hippocampus, the place where long-term memories are stored in the brain, and may last almost throughout her life.

Perhaps, since I am not a rat, I do not think I am experiencing these changes. I definitely do not feel that my memory has improved, granted it was not great to begin with. Now where did I put her other shoe… and what was I talking about again… oh yes…

I can, however, see where I may be similar to a mom rat. I will definitely throw myself in front of a predator to protect my darling (apparently mom rats exhibit less fear when defending little ones), and I think my reflexes has improved a bit from trying to catch her from falling (though I do not think I will ever be good at catching crickets like the mom rats).

Either way, I know I have changed. My priorities have definitely changed. I think motherhood forces you to be unselfish. My life will never be entirely my own again, and that is fine with me.

My First Post

It has been a little more than a year ago when I had my precious little girl. I had all these plans of actually recording every single little event of her life. I have two baby memory books that are sitting virtually blank on my shelf right now – I think they are mocking me. I am pretty sure that one is still in its box, looking all pretty and new. I have always envied those people with their book full of information of when their first tooth came; when their first teeth showed up; when they first took an independent step… I wanted this for my little one. And then reality hit – sleep or fill out this book. I of course, chose sleep. Most days, I choose sleep above just about anything else…

Actually, I was even more ambitious, I was planning to keep a pregnancy journal for her, so that she can read about what I felt, about my dreams for her, and of course, to make her feel guilty when she got older. But I never got started on that either.

So, I decided to try this blog thing. I figure everyone and his or her cat has one. And better late than never I guess.

Maybe one day she will like to read about all the adventure that we had together before she is capable of forming conscious memories… or maybe one day she will make Me feel very guilty after reading that I accidentally let her fall off the bed – honestly, I just looked away for one second…

Well, if you are reading this… just remember, mommy loves you very much, and just wants you to be happy. But remember, at least for now, your happiness is directly correlated with mommy’s happiness…