Travelling with a little one.... part 2

A couple of weeks ago I started a list of tips on travelling with little ones. I also realize that I said the next blog would be a continuation of the list, but life happens and I got distracted (sadly, it happens a lot). Ironically though, this is sort of related to this set of tips...

I only have a few tips on what to do during the trip.

1. Plan and research BEFORE you leave. There should be no one standing there going 'okay, what do you want to do now...' or even worse 'I'm BORED!' These complains should be restricted to weekends at home.
   
   
   With this wonderful world at your fingertips, literally (what did I do before Google?!?!), do a quick search of your destination, and highlight some places where you would like to visit. This is a great activity to do with the kids too, and it might get them excited for the trip.
   Also note where these fun activities and places are relative to where you are staying... i.e. if everything is far away, maybe it is worth considering renting a car, or be prepared to take transit.

       Finally, there are lots of sites that list activities for specific age groups.

2. Now that you have plan, be prepared to throw your plan and schedule out the window. I think I may have mentioned this in one of my previous posts; I am a obsessive planner. Sometimes, I think I must had been a train conductor in my past life, because I like things to happen on schedule (okay, my schedule). I learned on this trip that staying on schedule is both difficult, and frankly, not fun.

It was probably my fault for trying to pack way too many activities into this vacation. We had a limited amount of time, and I wanted to see as much as possible. So instead of enjoying myself and allowing others to enjoy themselves, I found I was always rushing people (okay mainly my little girl) to the next thing on the list.

Children will mess with your schedule. I do not think young children understand the concept of time at all. They seem to have their own funny little internal clocks, and decide on things like: 'today, I am going to take 2 hours to eat my lunch,' and 'I need to use the bathroom for the fiftieth time'. It is impossible to plan a day around interruptions like that.

Also, over planning and obsessively sticking to a schedule will prevent you from doing spontaneous things. So, the two hour lunch prevented the afternoon museum visit. Maybe we can go shopping instead (maybe I will treat myself to something nice because of my distress over the scheduling crisis...), and hope that we can do the museum another day... I guess what I am saying is just breathe if things do not go as planned, who knows, it may turn out to be more fun. (And one day, I will actually follow my own advice).

3. Decide on what to do about your normal routines before the trip. Speaking of scheduling... since my little one was old enough to eat solid foods, lunch was at noon, nap at 1:30, dinner was at six and she should be in bed by 8:30.
   On vacation, we decided that schedule was almost impossible to meet, so we just winged it. I am lucky, my kid is pretty flexible, and she is four now, so she no longer has an afternoon nap, (though she still occasionally needs one).

You should decide prior to the trip (do no really want to argue about this during the trip) whether you want to maintain their daily routines, or just say screw it, for a couple of days. Granted, you must also be prepared to deal with the consequences after if you choose this route; it took us about a week to get her back to going to bed early again.

You can also try to maintain their daily routines. We did that for our first vacation when she was very little. Meal times were pretty much the same, give or take 30 min, and everyday we went back to our hotel room, and we all took a little nap before going out to play again. Though we spent more time in a hotel room than I would like, I was willing to live with it because my husband and I decided that our daughter was still very little, and needed both a little rest and the consistency.

And once again, be willing to change depending on how your child behaves. Like, if my child started acting like she was possessed after missing a nap or two (she is like that sometimes)... you can bet that I would have said screw shopping, we are going back to the hotel for quiet time.

I guess what I am trying to say is plan, be prepared, but also be flexible. AND don't be like me... take time to breathe and to just enjoy this special time together. At least take a moment before rushing off for the next thing.

I am sure I will be adding to this list as I travel more, and I really hope for the opportunity to travel more with my family. I also hope that my little one will remember these trips fondly, like I remember my childhood trips with my parents (we will just pretend the fights never happened...).

Gotta go dream about my next trip.

I would love to hear about your vacation tips.

Pictures courtesy of: Dragan Rusov  and  Jean Scheijen

Conquering one fear at a time...

So we made it. She made it back from her field trip alive and well (see last post), and she had a wonderful adventure.

I made it too! I dropped her off at school without any incident, and I did not even hang around to watch them get on the school bus.

I find it very hard to not impose my fears onto her. So while images of lost little children and car crashes danced through my head, I continued to put on my happy face and told her that she will have a great time. I do not think she noticed my fears, at least I hope not; she was smiling and excited the entire time.

Okay, there was one little cloud that crossed her face.

I decided to put a note with her school's name and phone number, along with her father's and my contact information into her pocket. Of all the crazy scary scenarios, the losing her school group was the most likely. Even my husband agreed that this was not an unreasonable safety precaution, after all, she was going somewhere filled with other little kids, and my child is (A) quite little, and mainly (B) gets distracted very easily.

I do not think the idea of getting lost ever crossed her mind until that point. I reassured her that this was a just in case thing, and we had a quick talk about finding another teacher, or a police officer if she could not find her group. Then I told her to stick to her friends like glue.

It is hard to do these safety talks without scaring and scarring her, because like me, my little one tends to jump to the worse case scenario. So, when I said quick safety talk, I meant it. I did not want her to dwell on it too long, and we quickly moved right back onto how much fun the trip is going to be.

I want my daughter to be curious, strong, brave and confident. I want her to explore the world without fear (but cautiously, of course). Now if only someone can help me be strong, brave, and confident and tell me how to let her go.

Oh! the added plus for this trip; she had half an hour more of school! Maybe field trips are a good thing after all.

Fighting my Fears

I always thought of myself as being one of those parents who allowed their kids to explore the world with minimal supervision.

Helicopter parent, I am not. I am kind of surprise that the school has not called the cops on me considering how many bruises my kid has on her sometimes – there are times when my kid's love of climbing exceeds her ability to climb that something, and yes I let her fall. BUT, I do make sure that she will not get really hurt, i.e. break anything.

I always believed that giving my child a sense of freedom and the ability to make her own decisions (within limits), and thus the opportunity of making and learning from her own mistakes is important. She has so far mastered the making mistakes, but is a little slower on the learning from it part.

And, I always thought that I was pretty good at controlling my fears and not letting the possibility of something going horribly wrong to affect my decisions.

Well, now all that is about to be thrown out the window... the nearest bus window... you see, my child is about to go on her first school trip; on a school bus; without me. Yes, she is going in a vehicle, with someone else watching her (and a whole bunch of other four and five year olds), and the vehicle does not have a five-point-harnesses system, or some other form of restraining device built in.

I know logically that the chances of something going wrong is very slim. And, there are other adults keeping an eye on her. BUT the other adults are not me.

I am currently trying very hard to ignore all those horrible scenarios that just keep popping into my head (we are talking everything from bus accidents, to the kids being taken hostage, to my little girl getting lost during the trip). So now, I am fighting my urge to just keep her at home with me, and maybe covering her up in bubble wrap and locking her in her room.

The thing is, I am not even sure where this fear and sense of dread is coming from. Until now, I have never been worried about leaving her somewhere. I was never one of those parents who got teary eyed at school/camp drop offs. I was the one who quickly waved and then ran to enjoy my couple of hours of freedom.

Maybe I am afraid this time because I am being forced to acknowledge that she is no longer a baby. This time she is going somewhere without me.

So, I hope my nerves will hold up, as I keep telling myself that everything will be fine, and it will be great. She will have a wonderful time.

And, I will keep in mind that at least I will not be trapped in a metal box with a bunch of excited four and five year olds.

What do you do when you feel scared, but know logically that there is nothing to be afraid of?

picture courtesy of Sam LeVan

Travelling with a little one

My family, including my in-laws, recently took a short weekend trip out of town.

So you might be thinking that I am a very lucky girl to go on so many trips (see this post and this one ), but the truth is, I usually blog post trip, but as I so rarely blog, it just seems like I go on a lot of trips. Still, I admit I am lucky to have the opportunity to go on these trips.

The trip was fun! The weather was not great, but it did not dampen anyone's spirit even if it literally soaked us one day. I consider any trip that does not result in me wanting to kill my travelling companions a great trip (my family usually had one major blow-up per family trip – I think it was because we were just not use to being together, in such close quarters, for such an extended period of time).

However, this post is not about the trip, but some lessons I have learned about I thought I will take this travelling with a small child:

Part one – from home until the plane.

1. It is okay to over pack (for the kids), but do not go nuts. I am a huge believer in being prepared, maybe it is reminiscent of my old girl guide days, but I have a tendency to pack for all four seasons. I have learned to restrain myself to packing for only three seasons by packing clothes that can be layered. I know over stuffing your luggage can be very expensive these days, but children clothes really do not weigh that much, so pack a couple (NOT DOUBLE) extra outfits and definitely extra underwear, and socks. Even if the kids are toilet trained, you never know if they will get themselves soaked or really dirty – my child has yet to meet a puddle that she does not like. Also, the one and only time I did not over pack, it SNOWED, in late APRIL!

Having said this, keep in mind that for the most part you should be able to buy what you forgot or do not have enough of at the destination. Also, if you are planning to buy a souvenir t-shirt anyways, maybe pack one less than.

2. Bring entertainment, and be prepared to make/be entertainment. You never know if the plane will be delayed (we were stuck at the airport for TEN hours, and were down to our last diaper), or if the weather really sucks, you may be stuck in your hotel room. I like open-ended toys, so it has the potential to keep my kid occupy for a bit longer. I bring things like play-doh, a notebook, things to draw with, a doll or dolls. Once, between the stuff we had and the stuff we found at the hotel, we could had set up a pretend restaurant and store in the hotel room (take out containers from the restaurant, plastic cutlery and cups etc...). We also usually go and buy her some little (and cheap) new toy for the plane. I find anything new will usually keep a child occupied for 15 minutes.

3. Electronic devices are sometimes our best friends. I found my iPad a great source of distraction. For one thing, it weighs next to nothing, and I can load a whole bunch of children stories onto it, along with games, and movies. We packed books once, and they weighed a lot, so we could only bring about three. No one wants to listen or read the same three books for a week, now we have dozens of books on my iPad, and the machine can even read them to her. I am not too thrilled about letting my kid play with my electronic gadgets all the time, but hey, it keeps her happy waiting for and during the time on the plane, so I am willing to live with that.

4. On the plane, sometimes you may have to throw some rules out the window. At home we have a pretty strict television watching time limit, however, on the plane, we allow her to watch all the television she wants (assuming we were lucky enough to get one of the planes with the little personal television systems). Yes, I admit I let my child watch almost three continuous hours of television on a flight to Florida. I figure there are very limited amount of activities she can do on the plane, it is not like I can ask them to stop the plane so I can take her to the park for a run, and I am not really comfortable letting her play in the aisles; it seems like the attendants are always serving something or collecting something and I am sure the other passengers might appreciate not seeing an excited kid play like a monkey in the cabin. Sometimes, in these situations a little bending of the rules is probably good. Like, so what if we give her an extra piece of candy if it can help keep her distracted from her ears hurting during take off and landings, or that she gets an extra cup of juice because it makes her feel this is extra special, and keeps her hydrated in the very dry cabin.

Do you have any tips?

Next post will probably be about what I learned during the trip.