Another school year is over

It seems like only yesterday when I held her little hand, walked her up the steep hill, and then let her go with, well, essentially a stranger. And now, I am a little reluctant to let that former stranger, now beloved teacher, return my child back to me.

Ah... summer vacation... days off for little ones (and big ones), but more work for mom. It is once again my job to entertain her.

I love spending time with my daughter, but I also enjoy and need my time, alone, away from her. Sometimes my ears just need a break (my little one is, as my husband likes to call her, a “constant stream of consciousness”).

I am so going to miss my morning breaks when I can do things like clean, go grocery shopping, have some peace and quiet, stare at Youtube videos, and yes, even occasionally blog!

At least I am better prepared for it this year. We signed her up for three weeks of camp, spaced throughout the summer (one at the beginning, middle, and end). Last year, I was still booking her for August camps in July (late July)... And, I am smart, or evil; I put her favourite camp (ballet) last, so that I have something to threaten her with during these long months... the 'if you do not behave, I am going to cancel ballet camp!'

I think camp will be good for both of us. I like the idea that she will meet new friends, and maybe even learn something; and being away from me should hopefully help ease the shock of going back to school in September.

And for me, I think camp will allow me to keep my sanity, and would probably make me a happier, less bitchy mommy, which should make everyone happy.

Now.... how many days are there left until September....

What are your summer plans?

To correct or not to correct...

I know it is my job as a parent to teach my child, and to 'correct' her when she is doing something wrong.

However, sometimes I find it very hard to do that; especially when it comes to the way she speaks.

My little one is getting older now, and she is losing the last vestiges of her 'baby talk', so I am finding it more and more difficult to correct her pronunciation of certain words (I do try to correct grammar, though that might actually do more harm than good).

I just REALLY miss hearing her say lellow (instead of yellow).

We are trying to help her communicate better with words so that other adults have a chance of understanding her, and are actively trying to remove the 'likes and okays' from her sentences to try to avoid the “like okay mom, like okay, you are so like not cool...”

However, I just cannot let go of her cute little 'words'. It feels almost like I am saying goodbye to my baby, and I am not sure if I am ready to say hello to my little big girl yet.

So, the only thing I have left these days are my “isgusting's” (instead of disgusting), and I plan to protect them as long as I can. And, I do not care who it 'isgusts'.

I am a procrastinator...

I have been meaning to write this post for about two weeks now...

I do not think I am too bad. I will get the things that must be done, done; like our bills are paid on time; I am rarely late handing work in; the kid generally gets to school on time (and if we are late, it is her fault and not mine...); meals are usually on the table on time (give or take 30 min...), gifts are bought and wrapped before the party (sometimes just before the party, or on the way to the party, but they get there wrapped), and the house will get cleaned, or made to look like it is clean before the guests come (even if it means stuffing things under the couch).

Unfortunately, for things that I think are not that important, I tend to put it off until it bites me in the ass.

This was one of those things...

My husband and I had been talking about giving a spare house key to our neighbours, or just to hide it somewhere. Okay, the actual conversation happened four years ago (our parents have an extra key, but it can take up to 40 min for them to get to our house, on a good day).

And then it happened. I locked myself out of the house. And to top it off, it snowed. In April. And, all I had on was a sweater. So yes, there I was, freezing in front of my house, thinking I did this to myself; why did I put these things off?

It was not like we were putting off building an extension on the house, which requires money (that we do not have) and planning; this was a stupid extra key, I should be able to pay for it with the change in my pocket (if I had the key on me).

My next thought was, why couldn't it be my husband who learns this lesson, after all, he could have given the spare key to our neighbours without me.

So that very weekend, we got the extra key cut. It took no time at all to get it done and set up. So now I am prepared for the next time I lock myself out of the house. And I learned my lesson about putting things off... or did I...

I really should sort through that bag of clothes and sign my kid up for summer camp, but maybe I will just make myself a cup of tea first, and maybe think of my next post, or plan dinner...

Making the Magic Last

My little girl is convinced she is a fairy. I believe she is sometimes a evil little gnome... but most of the time, I have to agree, there is something quite magical about her, at least to me.

Since school started, she has convinced herself that with the help of some magic words usually “Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo; Abracadabra,” she is able to change red streetlights green.

I thought about explaining to her that the light is going to turn green whether she says the words or not, or that magic spells work about as well as repeatedly pressing the crosswalk button... but then I stopped myself. Why stop her from seeing magic everywhere?

I am going to try and keep my little magical fairy for a bit longer.

Travelling with a little one.... part 2

A couple of weeks ago I started a list of tips on travelling with little ones. I also realize that I said the next blog would be a continuation of the list, but life happens and I got distracted (sadly, it happens a lot). Ironically though, this is sort of related to this set of tips...

I only have a few tips on what to do during the trip.

1. Plan and research BEFORE you leave. There should be no one standing there going 'okay, what do you want to do now...' or even worse 'I'm BORED!' These complains should be restricted to weekends at home.
   
   
   With this wonderful world at your fingertips, literally (what did I do before Google?!?!), do a quick search of your destination, and highlight some places where you would like to visit. This is a great activity to do with the kids too, and it might get them excited for the trip.
   Also note where these fun activities and places are relative to where you are staying... i.e. if everything is far away, maybe it is worth considering renting a car, or be prepared to take transit.

       Finally, there are lots of sites that list activities for specific age groups.

2. Now that you have plan, be prepared to throw your plan and schedule out the window. I think I may have mentioned this in one of my previous posts; I am a obsessive planner. Sometimes, I think I must had been a train conductor in my past life, because I like things to happen on schedule (okay, my schedule). I learned on this trip that staying on schedule is both difficult, and frankly, not fun.

It was probably my fault for trying to pack way too many activities into this vacation. We had a limited amount of time, and I wanted to see as much as possible. So instead of enjoying myself and allowing others to enjoy themselves, I found I was always rushing people (okay mainly my little girl) to the next thing on the list.

Children will mess with your schedule. I do not think young children understand the concept of time at all. They seem to have their own funny little internal clocks, and decide on things like: 'today, I am going to take 2 hours to eat my lunch,' and 'I need to use the bathroom for the fiftieth time'. It is impossible to plan a day around interruptions like that.

Also, over planning and obsessively sticking to a schedule will prevent you from doing spontaneous things. So, the two hour lunch prevented the afternoon museum visit. Maybe we can go shopping instead (maybe I will treat myself to something nice because of my distress over the scheduling crisis...), and hope that we can do the museum another day... I guess what I am saying is just breathe if things do not go as planned, who knows, it may turn out to be more fun. (And one day, I will actually follow my own advice).

3. Decide on what to do about your normal routines before the trip. Speaking of scheduling... since my little one was old enough to eat solid foods, lunch was at noon, nap at 1:30, dinner was at six and she should be in bed by 8:30.
   On vacation, we decided that schedule was almost impossible to meet, so we just winged it. I am lucky, my kid is pretty flexible, and she is four now, so she no longer has an afternoon nap, (though she still occasionally needs one).

You should decide prior to the trip (do no really want to argue about this during the trip) whether you want to maintain their daily routines, or just say screw it, for a couple of days. Granted, you must also be prepared to deal with the consequences after if you choose this route; it took us about a week to get her back to going to bed early again.

You can also try to maintain their daily routines. We did that for our first vacation when she was very little. Meal times were pretty much the same, give or take 30 min, and everyday we went back to our hotel room, and we all took a little nap before going out to play again. Though we spent more time in a hotel room than I would like, I was willing to live with it because my husband and I decided that our daughter was still very little, and needed both a little rest and the consistency.

And once again, be willing to change depending on how your child behaves. Like, if my child started acting like she was possessed after missing a nap or two (she is like that sometimes)... you can bet that I would have said screw shopping, we are going back to the hotel for quiet time.

I guess what I am trying to say is plan, be prepared, but also be flexible. AND don't be like me... take time to breathe and to just enjoy this special time together. At least take a moment before rushing off for the next thing.

I am sure I will be adding to this list as I travel more, and I really hope for the opportunity to travel more with my family. I also hope that my little one will remember these trips fondly, like I remember my childhood trips with my parents (we will just pretend the fights never happened...).

Gotta go dream about my next trip.

I would love to hear about your vacation tips.

Pictures courtesy of: Dragan Rusov  and  Jean Scheijen

Conquering one fear at a time...

So we made it. She made it back from her field trip alive and well (see last post), and she had a wonderful adventure.

I made it too! I dropped her off at school without any incident, and I did not even hang around to watch them get on the school bus.

I find it very hard to not impose my fears onto her. So while images of lost little children and car crashes danced through my head, I continued to put on my happy face and told her that she will have a great time. I do not think she noticed my fears, at least I hope not; she was smiling and excited the entire time.

Okay, there was one little cloud that crossed her face.

I decided to put a note with her school's name and phone number, along with her father's and my contact information into her pocket. Of all the crazy scary scenarios, the losing her school group was the most likely. Even my husband agreed that this was not an unreasonable safety precaution, after all, she was going somewhere filled with other little kids, and my child is (A) quite little, and mainly (B) gets distracted very easily.

I do not think the idea of getting lost ever crossed her mind until that point. I reassured her that this was a just in case thing, and we had a quick talk about finding another teacher, or a police officer if she could not find her group. Then I told her to stick to her friends like glue.

It is hard to do these safety talks without scaring and scarring her, because like me, my little one tends to jump to the worse case scenario. So, when I said quick safety talk, I meant it. I did not want her to dwell on it too long, and we quickly moved right back onto how much fun the trip is going to be.

I want my daughter to be curious, strong, brave and confident. I want her to explore the world without fear (but cautiously, of course). Now if only someone can help me be strong, brave, and confident and tell me how to let her go.

Oh! the added plus for this trip; she had half an hour more of school! Maybe field trips are a good thing after all.

Fighting my Fears

I always thought of myself as being one of those parents who allowed their kids to explore the world with minimal supervision.

Helicopter parent, I am not. I am kind of surprise that the school has not called the cops on me considering how many bruises my kid has on her sometimes – there are times when my kid's love of climbing exceeds her ability to climb that something, and yes I let her fall. BUT, I do make sure that she will not get really hurt, i.e. break anything.

I always believed that giving my child a sense of freedom and the ability to make her own decisions (within limits), and thus the opportunity of making and learning from her own mistakes is important. She has so far mastered the making mistakes, but is a little slower on the learning from it part.

And, I always thought that I was pretty good at controlling my fears and not letting the possibility of something going horribly wrong to affect my decisions.

Well, now all that is about to be thrown out the window... the nearest bus window... you see, my child is about to go on her first school trip; on a school bus; without me. Yes, she is going in a vehicle, with someone else watching her (and a whole bunch of other four and five year olds), and the vehicle does not have a five-point-harnesses system, or some other form of restraining device built in.

I know logically that the chances of something going wrong is very slim. And, there are other adults keeping an eye on her. BUT the other adults are not me.

I am currently trying very hard to ignore all those horrible scenarios that just keep popping into my head (we are talking everything from bus accidents, to the kids being taken hostage, to my little girl getting lost during the trip). So now, I am fighting my urge to just keep her at home with me, and maybe covering her up in bubble wrap and locking her in her room.

The thing is, I am not even sure where this fear and sense of dread is coming from. Until now, I have never been worried about leaving her somewhere. I was never one of those parents who got teary eyed at school/camp drop offs. I was the one who quickly waved and then ran to enjoy my couple of hours of freedom.

Maybe I am afraid this time because I am being forced to acknowledge that she is no longer a baby. This time she is going somewhere without me.

So, I hope my nerves will hold up, as I keep telling myself that everything will be fine, and it will be great. She will have a wonderful time.

And, I will keep in mind that at least I will not be trapped in a metal box with a bunch of excited four and five year olds.

What do you do when you feel scared, but know logically that there is nothing to be afraid of?

picture courtesy of Sam LeVan