Screw Date Nights

One of the things that I miss most from the time before I was a mom, and before I was married (which was so long ago that I had a pet dinosaur named Chompy) was having time by myself.

I confess that I am actually all by myself as I am typing this. However, I am constantly staring at the little clock at the top of my screen to make sure I pick my daughter up from school on time.

So, to be more specific, I miss having stress free, unscheduled time by myself. I miss being able to do what I want without the constant sound of a ticking clock reminding me that I have to drop my daughter off or pick her from school,a play date, a class ...

I miss eating crappy (but tasty), food in front of the television, right from the pot or container, without feeling guilty about not setting a good example. Granted, I can still do some of these things, but that requires me to wait until my daughter goes to bed – so I miss being a messy sloth at a reasonable hour.

And no, I do not actually hate date nights, but sometimes I just cherish the thought of not being with the kid AND NOT having to talk to someone more. I just do not want to think about or plan conversations (we have to or else we end up spending the entire evening talking about the kid). Besides, date nights usually involve planning, they require dinner reservations, or movie/show tickets, which means we must agree to a movie and a time; and even without these things, dates require booking a babysitter (sometimes this must be done months in advance...).

Alone time involves a bowl of food, of some sort, pyjamas and a television remote – no child care is needed because the other parent has the kid.

So now, every once in a while, for the sake of my sanity, I ask my husband to take the small child out for the day or evening. I like to tell myself that I am doing this because it is good for them to have some daddy and daughter time.

In reality, I use this time alone to recharge my batteries. Sometimes I even miss them a little bit. Now if missing them a little, along with a little break, allows me to be a better and more attentive parent, can you imagine what a wonderful parent I will be if I get a week off!

(To be honest, there is no way I will last a week without my family, but a night or two is worth a try...)

Another school year is over

It seems like only yesterday when I held her little hand, walked her up the steep hill, and then let her go with, well, essentially a stranger. And now, I am a little reluctant to let that former stranger, now beloved teacher, return my child back to me.

Ah... summer vacation... days off for little ones (and big ones), but more work for mom. It is once again my job to entertain her.

I love spending time with my daughter, but I also enjoy and need my time, alone, away from her. Sometimes my ears just need a break (my little one is, as my husband likes to call her, a “constant stream of consciousness”).

I am so going to miss my morning breaks when I can do things like clean, go grocery shopping, have some peace and quiet, stare at Youtube videos, and yes, even occasionally blog!

At least I am better prepared for it this year. We signed her up for three weeks of camp, spaced throughout the summer (one at the beginning, middle, and end). Last year, I was still booking her for August camps in July (late July)... And, I am smart, or evil; I put her favourite camp (ballet) last, so that I have something to threaten her with during these long months... the 'if you do not behave, I am going to cancel ballet camp!'

I think camp will be good for both of us. I like the idea that she will meet new friends, and maybe even learn something; and being away from me should hopefully help ease the shock of going back to school in September.

And for me, I think camp will allow me to keep my sanity, and would probably make me a happier, less bitchy mommy, which should make everyone happy.

Now.... how many days are there left until September....

What are your summer plans?

video games, giving in to evil?

I finally gave in. I bought my kid a video game, not a video game I wanted and that she might be interested in. A video game just for her.

I know there are countless studies out there that says video games are bad for kids – increases violent tendencies and aggression, decreases interest in school, increases antisocial tendencies, possible increase risk for depression, increases risk for obesity; and creates urges to jump on

things that look like mushrooms... (okay, maybe not that last one).

But here is the thing - and keep in mind, I love my daughter more than anything in the world - the child has NO hand-eye coordination. And yes, I know there are better ways to improve hand-eye coordination, like taking her outside (which we do lots of already, the child is a great climber) and playing more 'sports' with her, or just throwing things at her, but apparently getting hit in the face (it was one of those soft Nerf balls), has neither taught her to catch better or to get out of the way.

So, I figure maybe playing a video game may help her learn to react a little bit better; without the risk of physical injury. Okay, she can still fall off the couch, but at least it is not mom throwing a ball at her face again (and no I was not aiming at her face, if I was aiming at her face, it would had probably hit her feet... this may explain the whole lack of hand-eye coordination thing).

The other reason for the video game is, sigh, I am pretty sure we have now said goodbye to nap time. She may not need her afternoon nap, but I need it. I need a little break, if anything, just to prep dinner and maybe have some coffee or tea before afternoon 'activities' start again. I figure a bit of video game time may be slightly better than just watching television. At least video games requires some thinking. My feeling is maybe a couple times a week, half-an-hour of television or video game time and then an hour of 'quiet', meaning leave mommy alone time, should be okay (I hope).

And, it is not like I bought her Grand Theft Auto. She got a Dora the Explorer game.

The last reason why I am getting her a video game, and I am the one bowing to peer pressure on this one, a lot of her little friends are playing video games (luckily her close friends are not). I would feel bad that when the time (I am pretty sure this is not an 'if' situation) comes for her to visit a friend's house and they end up playing a video game together, I really don't want her to get her ass whipped.

photo courtesy of stocker