Showing posts with label privacy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label privacy. Show all posts

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Screw Date Nights


One of the things that I miss most from the time before I was a mom, and before I was married (which was so long ago that I had a pet dinosaur named Chompy) was having time by myself.

I confess that I am actually all by myself as I am typing this. However, I am constantly staring at the little clock at the top of my screen to make sure I pick my daughter up from school on time.

So, to be more specific, I miss having stress free, unscheduled time by myself. I miss being able to do what I want without the constant sound of a ticking clock reminding me that I have to drop my daughter off or pick her from school,a play date, a class ...

I miss eating crappy (but tasty), food in front of the television, right from the pot or container, without feeling guilty about not setting a good example. Granted, I can still do some of these things, but that requires me to wait until my daughter goes to bed – so I miss being a messy sloth at a reasonable hour.

And no, I do not actually hate date nights, but sometimes I just cherish the thought of not being with the kid AND NOT having to talk to someone more. I just do not want to think about or plan conversations (we have to or else we end up spending the entire evening talking about the kid). Besides, date nights usually involve planning, they require dinner reservations, or movie/show tickets, which means we must agree to a movie and a time; and even without these things, dates require booking a babysitter (sometimes this must be done months in advance...).

Alone time involves a bowl of food, of some sort, pyjamas and a television remote – no child care is needed because the other parent has the kid.

So now, every once in a while, for the sake of my sanity, I ask my husband to take the small child out for the day or evening. I like to tell myself that I am doing this because it is good for them to have some daddy and daughter time.

In reality, I use this time alone to recharge my batteries. Sometimes I even miss them a little bit. Now if missing them a little, along with a little break, allows me to be a better and more attentive parent, can you imagine what a wonderful parent I will be if I get a week off!

(To be honest, there is no way I will last a week without my family, but a night or two is worth a try...)

Friday, October 21, 2011

A letter to the paparazzi

I think my daughter is cute (okay, I am sure most parents think their children are cute). Occasionally, complete strangers will come up to me and tell me what a cute, or beautiful little girl I have. I admit, my vanity enjoys these compliments, and hers does too, though it would be nice if they say I am cute as well (perhaps if I dressed nicer... but that is a completely different topic for another day).

Now, I know I should de-emphasize the importance of physical appearance; it is what is inside that counts, right? But this too is a topic for another time.

What I would like to write about today is: people, and by that I mean strangers, taking pictures of my kid...


Dear Random Photographers,

Please stop taking pictures of my child, UNLESS you ask first.

Since becoming a mother, I have become more aware of what is happening around my child (though not so much around me...), also I personally hate having my picture taken, so now I have a sixth sense when it comes to people pointing cameras in my, or my child's, direction. So yep, most of the time, I know what you are doing, and sorry if I ruined your shot by stepping between your camera and MY child.

And, no I do not think all photographers are child molesters. I just find it RUDE to take pictures of people without asking their permission first, even if it is in a public place. Would you like it if I do it to you? And, I understand sometimes we get caught in general crowd shots, which is fine, but when you crouch down to the height of my daughter, I am pretty sure you are taking a picture of her, unless you are looking for some interesting art shot of people's knees.

I also get it that you want capture the spontaneity of the moment, so it is not always practical to ask first (trust me, I know my daughter is not always the most cooperative when it comes to posing for the camera). However, you can always ask after, or send some sort of signal when we make eye contact, like point to the camera, point to her... something to let me know what you plan to do, and remember, I see you. Looking sneaky, will not help your cause, and frankly, make you look creepy.

And really, I have yet to say no to anyone that asked to take a picture of the kid. I cannot guarantee she will cooperate, but I will offer to help you try to get your shot.

So please, let us try to avoid me getting all mama bear on you, and just ask.

Thank you and I really do hope that you will get some wonderful pictures.

The kid's mom


picture courtesy of ilco http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1118246