Screw Date Nights

One of the things that I miss most from the time before I was a mom, and before I was married (which was so long ago that I had a pet dinosaur named Chompy) was having time by myself.

I confess that I am actually all by myself as I am typing this. However, I am constantly staring at the little clock at the top of my screen to make sure I pick my daughter up from school on time.

So, to be more specific, I miss having stress free, unscheduled time by myself. I miss being able to do what I want without the constant sound of a ticking clock reminding me that I have to drop my daughter off or pick her from school,a play date, a class ...

I miss eating crappy (but tasty), food in front of the television, right from the pot or container, without feeling guilty about not setting a good example. Granted, I can still do some of these things, but that requires me to wait until my daughter goes to bed – so I miss being a messy sloth at a reasonable hour.

And no, I do not actually hate date nights, but sometimes I just cherish the thought of not being with the kid AND NOT having to talk to someone more. I just do not want to think about or plan conversations (we have to or else we end up spending the entire evening talking about the kid). Besides, date nights usually involve planning, they require dinner reservations, or movie/show tickets, which means we must agree to a movie and a time; and even without these things, dates require booking a babysitter (sometimes this must be done months in advance...).

Alone time involves a bowl of food, of some sort, pyjamas and a television remote – no child care is needed because the other parent has the kid.

So now, every once in a while, for the sake of my sanity, I ask my husband to take the small child out for the day or evening. I like to tell myself that I am doing this because it is good for them to have some daddy and daughter time.

In reality, I use this time alone to recharge my batteries. Sometimes I even miss them a little bit. Now if missing them a little, along with a little break, allows me to be a better and more attentive parent, can you imagine what a wonderful parent I will be if I get a week off!

(To be honest, there is no way I will last a week without my family, but a night or two is worth a try...)

Quality vs Quantity

The other day my daughter asked me to play with her. I then told her not right now, mommy is tired, and besides mommy has been with you all day... and then I settled her down for a little craft project that she can do herself.

Later that night, it occurred to me that I have not sat down and just played with her in a while. I can't remember the last time we had a tea party, or went pretend shopping in the basement. It hit me that though I spend a lot of time with her, and I mean A LOT - we go to the park, to the beach, to the museum, to the farm, and sometimes we read, do crafts and play board games - we rarely just sit and play.

I think it is my need to always feel productive, or that the activity we choose should somehow lead to bettering oneself that blinds me to the idea of just playing for fun.

So here is a promise. The next time she wants to throw me a tea party; a tea party we shall have, unless I am to tired of course...

taking some time to stop and feed the chickens...

Me time

So after the last post about trying to get things done while my kid is at school... this week, I decided to say screw it. I am taking some time for myself and do stuff I want (mainly surf aimlessly on the Internet for hours). Next week, I might just rent me a chick flick and watch it in the middle of the day.

Now, I just have to get over the guilt of not vacuuming, dusting, doing the dishes and folding that pile of laundry in my room.

One day, I will learn to find a way and do a bit of both. But for now, I am going to sit here, with my coffee, enjoy the fall sunshine, type away on my computer...

... and then quickly run inside and finish putting away the clothes before I have to pick the kid up again.

Time

Today officially marks my daughter's first week back to school (she started on Thursday). So, this also marks my first week of having more 'free time'.

I would like to ask what free time? It feels like I am busier than ever.

At first, even I thought that I will have more time to do stuff for me, like write on this blog, but nope. I have been busy cleaning the house, getting the groceries done, prepping for lunch and dinner, and then repeat. Granted, I am now able to do these things faster as I no longer have to entertain a little one, but it still takes time.

It is amazing how fast two hours fly by. I should probably start thinking of getting ready to walk up the hill again to pick her up. And, yes, her school is at the top of a hill and it takes 15 min to walk up it. I found out I can do it in about 5 min if I run, but I NEVER want to do that again.

So, with all my 'free time', my parents have started hinting maybe I should look into a part time job, or just a job, or even go back to school, like I need another degree. But I do have a job, I started to freelance (write) again, which I love, but sometimes (okay all the time) I have trouble writing on a schedule – so the words do not always come during the two hours of alone time that I have.

Anyway, for my parents' sake, if someone out there would like to give me a 'regular' job that allows me to work in two hour blocks – i.e. 9 – 11 (okay, 10:30 because I have to go pick up the child) and then 1 – 3:30 twice a week, feel free to give me a shout.