Feeling like a parent...

So this year we decided to make my daughter's halloween costume. Next year, we will most likely be buying one for her....

Anyway, I realize while I was swearing about how hard it is to thread a needle at 11:00 at night that it was moments like these that really make me feel like a parent.

Little moments like stuffing Valentine's day envelopes for her when she was in pre-school, baking cookies at midnight for her class because someone forgot to tell me about a class party the next day, or making a halloween costume, are, oddly, what makes me feel most like a mom.

You would think feeling like a mom should occur when I am actually parenting. However, I consider those moments more like emergency triage situations.... we do what we must to survive. I am too busy trying to keep her alive to consider my own feelings (okay I admit I probably do feel a bit of shame during the times that I completely lost my temper).

Or, you would think that it should be the moments that I spend time with her and doing fun things together that would make me feel like a parent. But at those time, I am so concentrated on her, and hopefully having fun together, that I do not really think much about being a parent either.

So what we are left with are the little quiet moments like sewing back together stuffies, or packing tomorrow's lunch that makes me feel parental. I think these moments without her allows me to actually take a moment to breathe and to reflect about what my life is like now. And for the most part, I am pretty happy being where I am.