This year's love letter

Hello, I know it is late, again... but here is this year's love letter.  (And if you are interested, here is the link to last year's letter)

To my darling Ambition,

Oh where have you gone my dear? It seems ages since we were together.

I remember a time when we use to have a goal; and we would stubbornly do everything, fight anyone, and even ignore certain pleasures just to reach that goal.

These days, we feel a great sense of accomplishment if we managed to vacuum, and to clean the bathroom.

It is not you my dear Ambition. I think it is me and my lack of goals. Really, my life these days seems to revolve around getting the laundry out of the dryer and folded (which I really should be doing right now) and deciding what we should eat for dinner.

There are days when this is enough. However, there are days when I miss wanting and reaching for more.

Oh Ambition, maybe it is not you who have left me, but me who has abandoned you.

Though there is still this one important goal that we are still striving for together – to love and raise our most precious little darling. Maybe this is enough.

Love,

Me

PS yes... I am going to finish the laundry after this....

The year's Valentine's Day Letter

And here is this year's belated love letter.... (I am starting to see a trend... sigh)

Dear Deep Breath,

It has been a while since I have taken some time for you.

My life seems to be so hectic these days, running off to school, zooming to after school activities, getting food ready, cleaning (okay, I do not really clean that much...) and then planning for things to do on the weekend.

I feel like I forgot how to just stop and inhale. I feel like I am going nowhere fast.

Just the other day, I took my daughter sledding; knowing that we had a very small window to do this activity – a) the sun sets at 4:30 (at least it no longer start setting at 3:00...) and b) it was freezing. So there I stood watching her zoom down the hill, and then SLOWLY coming back up the hill with her toboggan. She was employing the two step forward, three slides back method of climbing up the hill. I was, of course, getting annoyed standing up there waiting for her. After all, she was the one who wanted to do this. I was about to yell, when I noticed that she was giggling, laughing and having fun!

This was the moment when I remembered you my long lost friend.

So I stood on top of the hill, took a very deep breath, and just enjoyed the scenery. I was literally at the top of a hill (and we had the hill to ourselves that day) watching a beautiful sunset and spending time with my daughter. So really, who the hell cares that we were not going up and down as many time as we could pack in. The whole point of this was to go outside, get some fresh air and have fun! If she has fun falling down the hill, I should just let her.

So from this point on, I am hoping to rediscover and spend more time with you. To stop, take a deep breath, and just enjoy the moment.

Forever yours,

Me

Letters from previous years

2013

2012

2011

A Valentine's Day letter...

Okay... I am a bit late with this year's love letter (here is last year's letter)... but I figure it is better late than never...

To my darling Patience,

I cannot really say that I miss you because I never really 'had' you in the first place.

You are the one that got away.

You remain, always, almost within my grasp, just slightly out of reach, a fleeting shadow seen out of the corner of my eye.

There are times when I think that I finally understand you, when I finally catch you, only to have you vanish like smoke after the slightest provocation. Come to think about it, you are a bit of a tease.

You are one of my greatest regrets.

And, I do not want to live with regrets.

I would really love to forge a relationship with you. Nothing ephemeral, something solid that we can build on for the future.

So what say you? Will you help me my darling? Show me your ways. Hold my hand when I want to scream and yell; or, help me take cool, deep breaths when my temper flares.

I do not think I am a lost cause. I will try very hard to work on our relationship. So please, stop running, stay still, and let us see what sort of future we can have together.

Waiting patiently for your reply...

Love,

Me.

A Letter to a Loved One

Last year for Valentine's Day I wrote a letter to something that I had been missing. So, this year, I decided to do the same thing.

And, of course I love my family, and I try to both tell and show them that everyday; not just on one day. But, this poor thing, I have been neglecting, so I think it deserves a letter.

Dear Peace and Quiet,

I am so sorry that we have not been spending much quality time together. And, I do realize that when we do meet, passing out from sheer exhaustion does not count.

I also find it disturbing that our time together usually starts with some yelling, “For (blank) sakes, why can't mommy just have 5 minutes of Peace and Quiet,” or begging, “For (blank) sakes, can mommy please just have 5 minutes of Peace and Quiet.”

I would really like to try to avoid that unpleasantness this year, as I find our time together after such stress so much less satisfying.

I know we are getting better this year, with school and all, but things still seem to get in the way. Yes, I know I should be the blame for this. I really should just turn off the TV, or vacuum, or computer, or whatever it is I think is really important and must be done at that moment, like folding the laundry, and just enjoy some time alone with you.

Perhaps, we should try and set some time for the two of us to reconnect, maybe over a nice cup of tea, and maybe even a book! Yes, something with more than two sentences per page.

I sincerely hope that we can find our way back together again, and renew our time together.

Miss you lots, and Love Always

Me

A letter to the paparazzi

I think my daughter is cute (okay, I am sure most parents think their children are cute). Occasionally, complete strangers will come up to me and tell me what a cute, or beautiful little girl I have. I admit, my vanity enjoys these compliments, and hers does too, though it would be nice if they say I am cute as well (perhaps if I dressed nicer... but that is a completely different topic for another day).

Now, I know I should de-emphasize the importance of physical appearance; it is what is inside that counts, right? But this too is a topic for another time.

What I would like to write about today is: people, and by that I mean strangers, taking pictures of my kid...

Dear Random Photographers,

Please stop taking pictures of my child, UNLESS you ask first.

Since becoming a mother, I have become more aware of what is happening around my child (though not so much around me...), also I personally hate having my picture taken, so now I have a sixth sense when it comes to people pointing cameras in my, or my child's, direction. So yep, most of the time, I know what you are doing, and sorry if I ruined your shot by stepping between your camera and MY child.

And, no I do not think all photographers are child molesters. I just find it RUDE to take pictures of people without asking their permission first, even if it is in a public place. Would you like it if I do it to you? And, I understand sometimes we get caught in general crowd shots, which is fine, but when you crouch down to the height of my daughter, I am pretty sure you are taking a picture of her, unless you are looking for some interesting art shot of people's knees.

I also get it that you want capture the spontaneity of the moment, so it is not always practical to ask first (trust me, I know my daughter is not always the most cooperative when it comes to posing for the camera). However, you can always ask after, or send some sort of signal when we make eye contact, like point to the camera, point to her... something to let me know what you plan to do, and remember, I see you. Looking sneaky, will not help your cause, and frankly, make you look creepy.

And really, I have yet to say no to anyone that asked to take a picture of the kid. I cannot guarantee she will cooperate, but I will offer to help you try to get your shot.

So please, let us try to avoid me getting all mama bear on you, and just ask.

Thank you and I really do hope that you will get some wonderful pictures.

The kid's mom

picture courtesy of ilco http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1118246

The other relationship in my life...

Yes, today is Valentine’s Day, but instead of writing about how much I love my little one (whom I love more than anything in the world; and I tell her that almost everyday, not just once a year), I decided to write about my other relationship…. The one with SLEEP.

Dear Sleep,

I have noticed that in the last few years, we have started to spend more time apart. I try not neglect you, but life has gotten in the way. I am so sorry. I feel bad for letting you sneak down my priority list, somewhere below laundry, dishes, and cleaning, but please know, that in my heart you are still on top.

We really should work on our relationship. I remember when we use to have little quickies in the afternoon, but now prepping for dinner has gotten in our way. There really does not seem to be enough hours in the day for us anymore.

I know it is mainly my fault. I can spend a bit less time in front of the computer and more time with you, but sometimes, staying up late, is the only time I have for myself, and I do treasure that time.

I remember reading this article a couple of years ago and thought these women were crazy for neglecting you… and now that I think back, I was probably reading the article at midnight. Apparently, I was already putting you aside.

So this year, I will try to spend more time with you and less time on Facebook, or Twitter… or maybe I will just clean less….

Let us see if we can fix this, I no longer want to feel like two ships passing in the night; I want quality time together. I know we will both feel better.

I miss you.

Love Always,