Fashion vs Function

As I walked my little one to school on a bloody cold January morning, completely bundled up in a giant down coat that could double as a sleeping bag, I suddenly wondered when I stopped thinking about fashion and concentrated more on function.

I still remember as a teenager, I avoided wearing things like snow-pants or winter boots like the plague. In fact, the only time I ever wore my super warm Sorel boots was when I was walking my dogs, and only if it was -30C outside. I figured the only other people out at that temperature were other dog walkers (or were crazy), and they, like me, were probably too busy trying to keep their eyeballs from freezing off, but just incase they glanced my way, I did not wear my snow-pants.

And then, in my twenties, when I used to go out and did not think 9:00pm was very late, I chose freezing over wearing a big coat, granted part of the reason was because of economics – big coat required coat check, which meant less money for drinks...

I believe my turning point towards function happened one year while I was skiing. I was the proud owner of a pair of skin tight ski pants that tucked into my ski boots. I thought I looked very cool. And then I fell. I spent the rest of the day skiing with a lump of snow wedged between my shin and my ski boots. And then I realized that I was stuck with those stupid pair of pants for the rest of the season, and a giant bruise on my shins every time I fell. Yep, I learned that year that I am not the type of person who will suffer for the sake of fashion; and the next year, I bought the biggest, warmest pair of snow-pants that I could find.

These days, if I can walk around in sweatpants and a blanket, I probably would. But, that is not setting a good example either. I want my little girl to have pride in how she looks, and to dress smartly and weather appropriately. However, I really do not want her to put such importance on her appearance. She already spends more time picking out her outfits and worrying about different shirt/skirt combinations than I ever had.

I am desperately trying not to make a big deal about her clothing choices, though by trying to not make a big deal, I think I am actually turning it into an issue. For the most part, I let her pick what she wants to wear. However that does not mean we do not battle - really, is it so mean of me to try to get her to wear a pair of shoes, that she wanted in the first place, before she grows out of them?

So for now, I will try to live with the turtleneck, sweater, pantyhose, and summer dress combination, as long as it can be tucked under a nice warm snowsuit.

So which are you, fashion or function?

a walk in the park, followed by a smack in the face with reality...

During a walk home from the park with my daughter, my little one started to talk about her best friend, AND how the two of them decided to get married someday (she told me he already asked and she replied yes, but he has not asked for my permission yet...)

I, of course, looked at her and smiled, and told her she would not be getting married for a number of years, and maybe she, or he, may change her, or his, mind before then.

She has plenty of time to think about when, and who, she is going to marry. Also, if her father has his way, she will not be marrying until she is at least 40.

I then took her little hand in mine, looked at her, and said, “Besides, you cannot legally marry until you are at least 18 years old, that will be 13 years from now.” (I skipped the part about getting parental permission or getting yourself declared an adult.)

As soon as I said the words '13 years', I immediately felt a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach. Though I know logically that 13 years is a long time from now, it really does not feel that far away. In a little more than a decade, my little baby will be legally a grown up!

Where did the time go? And how in the world can I stop her from growing up, or at least, prevent her from becoming a teenager...

Then she looked up at me with her big innocent eyes and told me 18 is very old – if she thinks 18 is old, what am I? Some sort of ancient hag?

She then shrugged her shoulders, and told me yeah, maybe he or she will find someone else. And, she happily skipped off to play.

It made me kind of want to freeze her at this age forever.

from this...

to this in a blink of an eye... sigh...

ring picture courtesy of Johanna Ljungblom

To correct or not to correct...

I know it is my job as a parent to teach my child, and to 'correct' her when she is doing something wrong.

However, sometimes I find it very hard to do that; especially when it comes to the way she speaks.

My little one is getting older now, and she is losing the last vestiges of her 'baby talk', so I am finding it more and more difficult to correct her pronunciation of certain words (I do try to correct grammar, though that might actually do more harm than good).

I just REALLY miss hearing her say lellow (instead of yellow).

We are trying to help her communicate better with words so that other adults have a chance of understanding her, and are actively trying to remove the 'likes and okays' from her sentences to try to avoid the “like okay mom, like okay, you are so like not cool...”

However, I just cannot let go of her cute little 'words'. It feels almost like I am saying goodbye to my baby, and I am not sure if I am ready to say hello to my little big girl yet.

So, the only thing I have left these days are my “isgusting's” (instead of disgusting), and I plan to protect them as long as I can. And, I do not care who it 'isgusts'.

Favourite Times

I saw a question couple of days ago asking: if you can freeze time, at what age or stage would you freeze your child?

And, it got me thinking about and looking at my daughter. I was shocked at how much she has grown, both literally (I swore those pants fit her better last week) and figuratively.

My little one is four now, and I am fascinated by this age and stage. One minute she appears to be so mature, so wise; and then the next minute, I swear she suddenly turned 14, and has become some eye rolling teenager; and just a quick moment after that, she is my little baby again. It is quite an adventure to be experiencing all these stages simultaneously, and seeing such big emotions and reactions coming from such a little body.

But then thinking back, there were highs and lows in all the ages and stages that we have gone through together so far.

I remember I loved being pregnant. It was the only time when I did not have to share my little girl, for nine months, she was all mine. On the other hand, I really did not enjoy almost throwing up every time I brushed my teeth – do you know how much it sucks to brush your teeth, feel nausea, throw up, and then have to brush your teeth again, followed by more nausea, it was some cruel never ending cycle... I was also not particularly thrilled about not seeing my feet, and the stretch marks suck too.

After she was born, I watched her grow and be more aware of her environment. With every day, every week, and every month that passed, she became more and more fun and more interactive with her father and me. And by the time she was one, she started to walk, and can even say a few words! I never thought I could love someone so much. I also never thought my back could hurt so much. And, how in the world was she able to tell when I was not paying attention, and wait until that exact moment to do something dangerous? Also, I missed being able to put her down and finding her again in the exact spot where I placed her.

And then in a blink of an eye, she was two. A very talkative little two year old at that. She loved telling me about her imaginary dogs, and friends, and pointing to things and asking lots of questions. It was amazing to see the world through her little inquisitive eyes; she was just fascinated by everything! On the other hand, one can only answer the question: WHY? so many times each day. Also, at about this age, my daughter discovered her favourite word is NO!

Wow, and before I know it, she was three. She started going to pre-school, so I got a couple of mornings off, YEAH! I think this was when we both learned to be more independent. And, my little girl was definitely independent, or maybe just stubborn. At this point, she started to help a bit more around the house, like setting her own spot at the table, sorting through her laundry, and putting her toys away (okay, throwing it in a basket, which was good enough for me). She was also toilet trained!!! So no more diapers!!! But independence had its draw backs too, by insisting on doing EVERYTHING “self”, it sometimes took us three times as long to do anything. For the most part, I did not mind, but it was a little bit annoying if you were trying to leave the house on time. Also at three, my little one was starting to talk a lot more. The problem with a very vocal child, was that sometimes their vocal skills were aimed at me, sigh... yep, my little angel was starting to argue and talk back at us. I am so not looking forward to the teenage years.

And now, we have come full circle, right back to now.

So, I guess, in this long rambling post, to answer the original question: I do not think I want to freeze time, as my favourite stage is NOW! Yes, there are things that suck, but for the most part, I love her to bits, and raising her is an exciting, and wonderful adventure (for the both of us I hope).

Do you have a favourite stage/age for your child?