Hello God...

My daughter came home the other day and told me about a problem at school. Nothing big, someone, or thing, was knocking some toys over, and she could not figure out who, or what, it was. So she and her friends decided to stakeout the toy area to catch who was doing this naughty thing. Apparently the plan failed. I guess they got bored after five minutes.

Then I asked her what they did next... and she told me they sat and prayed to God. I said, “Excuse me?”

Yep, my daughter and her friends got on their knees and prayed...

I was not raised in a very religious household. I did go to church when I was little, but I basically thought of church as a place to colour and make pretty crafts. My dad continued to drag us to church until my early teens, and then he got tired of fighting with us every week, and/or he started enjoying sleeping in.

Anyway, with my daughter I pretty much left religion out of our lives. I want it to be her choice when she is older.

However, I am starting to think I am wrong in my approach of completely ignoring religion. My daughter is now being told about God by a bunch of other six and seven year olds. And, If I remember correctly, young children often mistake God for Santa Claus. I had to tell her that God is not there for you to pray to for stuff, it is more complicated then that.

So maybe this is the year I finally tell her that Christmas is not about getting presents and Santa, and that Easter has very little to do with a bunny and chocolate eggs.

I hope that as a family, maybe we can also research what other people celebrate and believe in (her school does discuss most major religious celebrations, last year, she wanted to light a menorah, but I forgot when Chanukah started...).

I realize that we will be going on this new adventure with a heavy Christian bias (I teach what I know), but my goal is for her to learn that it is okay to believe in other things (as long as it does not hurt other people), and even if you do not always agree, you should respect other people's point of view. Or, in terms she understands – just because mommy thinks Toopy and Binoo is the most annoying cartoon ever made, it does not mean that you cannot like it (however, sometimes you may just have to watch it in a different room....).

Do you have suggestions on how to talk to your kid about religion?

selective memory...

When I was in school, I once took a film course, and in one of the units we talked about non-linear story telling – when you tell a story out of sequence, like the movie Memento (though I argue that Memento is a linear story, just told more or less backwards...)

Anyway, do you know who are the best non-linear story tellers? CHILDREN!

My kid was recently invited to a movie birthday party. She had a great time!

Though trying to get her to explain to me the plot of the movie was like pulling teeth from a fully awake tiger... And, it was not just her, we were driving her friend home as well, and he offered little help in deciphering what actually happened in the movie. The two of them just remembered random bits of the movie; completely out of order, of course. Basically, they only told me the parts they liked.

This got me to think if young children's memory of their daily lives is similar to how they remember movies and television shows – that is they only remember things in some random order, and only recall things that they like. Or as Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice once said “Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.”

This may explain why my daughter can recall every embarrassing moment that happened to me in the last three years and yet cannot seem to remember to sit properly or to eat faster, as I often have to remind her during dinner.

Oh! And my favourite repeated lecture – “Please, think before you speak or act.” I swear, I want to tape that particular 'talk' and whenever I need it, I can just hit the play button and walk away so that I do not have to hear the sound of my own voice again. Maybe, my kid honestly just do not remember these lectures chats, or lost the context associated with these talks because they do not make her happy.

Though I am not happy with her selective memory, I am also a bit jealous at the same time. I am not the type of person who can live in the now. I am always thinking about the results/consequences of my actions (and sometimes future actions), or regretting my past mistakes (yes. sometimes I have trouble sleeping at night).

So sometimes, I look at my daughter when she is playing and think that it must be nice to be able to just enjoy the moment, and maybe later that night, forget all about the bills, the chores, the worries, and just fall asleep thinking about the fun things we did today.

What I learned from my daughter…

As a mother, a major part of my job is to teach my daughter things. You know, things like looking both ways when crossing the street (even if it is a one way street), chew with your mouth close, boys are icky… the usual stuff. However, this time it was my little one who showed me something…

Sometimes, it is best to throw away the best-laid plan and just go rolling down a hill.

The other day we had a birthday party, and of course there were snacks, pizza, presents and CAKE! Cake is always very important. This party, we tried something different. We had organized games. This is when I truly appreciated how hard her teachers worked - trying to organize a bunch of three and four year olds to do something together that involved order was like trying to herd cats, a group of wild cats.

The kids did play the games, sort of. They had fun, especially when they made up their own rules. But for my little one, the highlight of her day (besides cake and presents) was the sheer joy of running up and down a hill near the birthday party site. Yep, that was it, no need for fancy decorations, weeks of careful planning, hours of praying for no rain, days spent shopping for all sort of party related stuff, all we needed was a hill and some grass and she was happy.

This party made me realize that I over complicate and over think things all the time. I should be happy with what is there, enjoy the simple pleasures in life, and to relax and take a tumble (albeit gentle one) down and hill and just have fun.