Mother's Day Blues

I do not like Mother's Day.

Do not get me wrong, I Love my Mommy, I Love my Mother-in-law, and I LOVE being a Mom. I just do not like Mother's Day.

Here is why...

Presents.

Ever since since my little one was born, we have given the mothers a little handmade present. Usually my daughter makes these presents, with a lot of supervision by me. So for weeks before the big day, I am constantly on Pinterest looking for ideas.

Here is the thing, and I know I am doing this to myself; I want to make presents that the mothers would like to keep because they are nice and not just out of guilt (even I started throwing out some of the crafts my daughter made for me. I feel a little bit bad, but we live in a small house, and I really do not need a hundred copies of the same flower, in multiple colours....).

So, with every year, the Mother's Day present project seems to grow more daunting to me. The worst is that I do not even get to enjoy the fruits of my own labours. Last year my daughter and I made these really nice little necklaces for everyone; that is everyone but ME! I was tired and forgot to include myself when I bought the materials; and I also thought it was a little lame to make myself a present.

So Mother's Day is once again approaching. I am still not quite sure what we are going to do this year, but I hope it will be nice and not too much work for me.

One year though, I would just like to spend a Mother's Day without having to plan anything, so that I too can sit and enjoy the breakfast that someone else planned for me, and maybe a massage. This way, I can feel more rested and relaxed before Father's Day comes.

My complicated relationship with Santa Claus

Okay, I still have no anti-resolution wish list, but am still feeling I need a holiday debrief.

For the last five years, my daughter has sent a letter to Santa Claus with her Christmas wish list. I also tell her Santa is a very busy man, and she will definitely not be getting ALL the toys on this list, and she will most likely be getting a toy somewhat similar to the one on the list, but probably not be the exact toy.

Anyway, here is my and my husband's usual Christmas eve routine: guests leave, dishes are loaded into the dishwasher (or hand washed, hey Santa, I need a bigger dishwasher), and house is tidied to an acceptable level (I have very low standards, so there is actually very little tidying). Then probably sometime after midnight, us 'Santa helpers' start assembling toys that will magically appear on Christmas day.

I have discovered that it is incredibly difficult for my fingers to work on anything other than a remote control, and to follow any sort of instructions after midnight.

But, it is all worth it to see her happy, excited face on Christmas morning when she discovers that she has actually been a good little girl (or good enough little girl) for Santa to bring her a present on her wish list, and not just a rock (knowing my kid though, she would actually be quite happy with a rock).

And then I find my feelings of happiness is inversely correlated to how happy Santa is making my child. Why should Santa get all the credit? What about all the toys that mommy and daddy got her?

It gets worse when months later she reminds me that her favourite gift is one that Santa got her, and then asks, what did you get me again mommy?

So this last Christmas I decided that mommy (and daddy too) is going to come up top dog this time. So take that Santa.

We decided to give her an expensive, and quite extravagant present this year. And this year, we are taking the credit for it.

Sure Santa still got her a couple of things from her list (most of which is now sitting in a pile near my feat), but it is the big gift that is still played with and is much treasured.

I think my relationship with Santa has moved to a much happier place this year. I no longer feel jealous and resentful towards the jolly old man. In fact, I am now appreciating him for the thing he does best – as a threat to my child to behave for the entire month of December (and if I am lucky, November as well).

Note – this last Christmas was also made easier when all the gifts that Santa brought did not require any sort of assembly.

It is that time of year again.... time to play Santa...

At our house, we started this little ritual a couple of years ago. I give my daughter the toy catalogues, (the ones that seem to come daily this time of year), then she goes through them all, cuts out her favourites and glues them onto one piece of paper to be sent to Santa.

This project accomplishes a few things. It gives me a clue as to what she wants for Christmas. It helps with her planning and future thinking skills – she can only fit so many toys on a page, so she must figure out which toys she really wants, and plan how to fit as many toys as she can onto a piece of paper (spatial reasoning skills?). It helps with her motor skills (the cutting and glueing). This year, we plan to work on her literacy skills as she must also write a letter to Santa. AND most importantly, it keeps her busy while I cook dinner.

Nevertheless, no matter what toy we get her, and no matter how much effort we put in trying to find some gender neutral, educational alternative to the Barbie doll and nail polish kit that she glued onto that sheet of paper, the toy will inevitably end up on the floor somewhere to become a tripping hazard or end up jabbing me in my foot.

So for her birthday this year we tried something different. Instead of a big expensive toy, we got her an experience. The whole family went to see the live production of Beauty and the Beast. We still got her a little toy to open on her birthday, even I realize that it would be difficult to explain to a five year old why there is nothing to unwrap, but her actual present, which happened about two months later, was the show.

Even though she did not completely enjoy the show (long story, maybe I will save it for another post), it did start me thinking that maybe this is the way to go for presents. Instead of another toy (more crap for me to clean up), why not do something fun as a family. Something that will leave very little physical presence (nothing for me to stub my toe on), but at the same time, something that can be enjoyed by all and leave a lasting memory.

To help you give a gift of an experience, here is a discount code for Disney On Ice presents Worlds of Fantasy. The show will be at Rogers Centre in Toronto from December 21 – December 26, 2012. For more information please visit http://disney.go.com/disneyonice/

Discount offer – 4 tickets for $44 on WEEKDAYS and $4 off per ticket on weekends.

Promotion code – MUM4

Fine print - Excludes Front Row, Rinkside, and VIP tickets. No double discounts. Additional Fees May Apply. Weekday is defined as Monday thru Thursday and Friday Matinee. Weekend is defined as Friday evening and Saturday and Sunday. Please put the code in the box for “promotions” NOT family pack. The promotion price does not include fees from Ticketmaster. 

More Fine print - Feld Entertainment may be providing me with complimentary tickets to this show, in exchange for my time and efforts in attending the show, and reporting my opinion within this blog. However, the opinions about the show, and everything else are 100 per cent mine.


pictures courtesy of: Disney characters and artwork, © Disney. Disney/Pixar characters and artwork © Disney/Pixar.

Discount Code for tickets to Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales

If your little ones are as obsessed with princesses as mine is, this may be a great little present for a post-holiday princess fix (especially since the threat of Santa not bringing presents is now gone) – tickets to Disney Live! presents Three Classic Fairy Tales. Consider this as my way of helping with Boxing Day shopping.

Using the code: MAMA

• You can get 4 tickets for $44 for the Monday through Thursday performances

• For Friday through Sunday performances, you can save $4 per ticket

• However, like many other offers, there are some restrictions: EXCLUDES Front Row, VIP, TP and Gold Circle tickets and may not be combined with other discount offers.

• And, this code is valid between now and end of performance schedule

And yes, Santa did bring my little one a princess doll – Belle. Well, at least it was not pink.

Buying presents for a difficult person

AND, the difficult person is ME!

To help those who must deal with people like me, here are my following rules about presents.

In no particular order:

• The gift does not have to be expensive (though I would not complain if it was...). BUT it cannot be cheap either, as in made out of cheap things, or look tacky (keep in mind that 'cheap' things can still be expensive). Okay, I admit that there is a time and place for cheesy gag gifts.

• The gift should not be something practical (i.e. socks and underwear), but not be completely useless either – like giving me a carjack would be practical and also be completely useless as I rarely drive, and even if I do, I cannot loosen the bolts that hold the tire in place.

• The gift should be a want, not a need. Like I really want a Kitchenaid mixer, because I think it is very pretty, but as I do not bake, I really do not need one (this is not a hint, as it is also unpractical, I have no room for one, unless the mixer becomes the centrepiece for Christmas dinner). Sometimes a want and a need may be the same thing.

• The gift should be something fun.

• Avoid gift cards if possible. Well, if you are getting a gift for your third cousin three times removed that you have met maybe twice in your life, then go for the gift card, but if it is someone close, try to get an actual present.

• The gift should not be bought half-assed – if so, just buy a gift card.

• Most importantly, the gift should be THOUGHTFUL – think about what the other person likes and wants (not need). I view gifts as a way of letting the other person know that you are thinking of them, and that you took time out (going online for hours looking for a present counts) specifically to go shopping, to get something special. Hopefully, the thoughts are not too cheap.

I know the list probably does not help with actual shopping, so here are some examples of a couple of my favourite presents.

a) A picture book of a trip that we took. It was a very thoughtful present, and I know it took time and effort for my husband to make the book. It also serves as a reminder of a really fun time we had together.

b) A massage at a spa. Now, I know you can give gift certificates to treatments, but this was special, because my husband made ALL the arrangements for me, including making sure our child would be occupied. All I had to do was to show up.

picture courtesy of Zurizim